Just showing off my kids

And then, the phone rings.........

Copy and paste this link below to see a wonderful girl that has been volunteering at Go Vap orphanage in Vietnam. This is the orphanage that Faith lived in and this is what I want to do with my life, dance with orphans.

http://angelarauscher.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html


It has been awhile since I have talked to our wonderful friend Henry that helped us while we were in Vietnam adopting Faith. Last night, he called.

It's amazing how, in a split second, your world can melt away when you are reminded what God has given to you.

In my email to Henry I asked if he would talk to the nanny that cared for Faith to see if she had noticed, hearing issues, leg pains, and issues with hypoglycemia. Also, I asked if he would find out more information about her biological family.

We are interested to know if Faith's hearing issues are related to past ear infections, family history or both.

More than anything, we want her family to know that she is safe and cared for, that she has a sister that's rotten and three brothers too. I can't imagine the heartache her parents must have felt when they could no longer care for her and had to give her to the orphanage. She was almost two years old. Can you even imagine?

Oh how their lives must have an empty spot where she once was. Her ears were pierced and she wore a necklace that was inscribed on the day she entered the orphanage. She was obviously doted upon.

After coming home from Vietnam with Faith and looking through her adoption paperwork, I found that her parents names and their address was included in it. I was floored by the fact that I had this information and was unaware until that very moment that I stumbled upon it.

I took a moment to stare at the names and the address that they lived. There it was. I never had this with Gracie as she was abandoned at the age of 7 days old. And then, there it was............ in plain sight. Now, what do I do with this information?

I thought about instantly packing up and going back to Vietnam to meet Faith's family.

I didn't say I was thinking logically. But, at that moment, it's what I wanted to do. I couldn't!! Ugh, I wanted to......... I longed to.........but, I couldn't.

Henry is in San Fransisco. Due to some corruption with adoptions, Vietnam has shut down any and all adoptions with the U.S. So, there they are, the kids without families, and they just sit.....and wait......and wait for someone, anyone, to come.

This breaks my heart as I know, my daughter could be one of the ones that continues to wait for someone to tuck her in at night. God is a BIG BIG God and he sent grace and mercy to a little girl that so desperately needed it.......in reality her story, our story, could be so different.

Even though it was over three years ago, I remember being in Vietnam like it was yesterday. The smell of Vietnam, like China, is distinct. There are no words than can describe it adequately. I just know that I remember, "the smell."

If I close my eyes real tight and think about the day we got Faith in Vietnam, I can remember the smell, sights and sounds that we were a part of on that day.

I remember how many people questioned our ability to care for five children when we shared how we were headed to Vietnam for Faith. Why do you need another child? Why Vietnam? Why in the world would you adopt a child with such a significant special need?

As I walked through the halls of Go Vap orphanage, the part of me that once cared what people said and thought vanished. The babies in the baby room were lying in cribs, side, by side, by side, one right after the other. Some had nastiness coming out of their noses, others cried, just wanting to be comforted and caressed.

Down the hall, there where children that had hydrocephalus. Some had heads the size of a large yoga ball. I wish I were kidding. In Vietnam, though the orphanage did the best they could, adequate medical care was not readily available. These babies laid, their heads to heavy to lift, just waiting for Jesus to come and whisk them away from this life that they had not asked to be placed into.

A little further down the hall was the ward where all the mentally handicapped children were cared for.

One child specifically was tied with cloth straps to her crib. They did this for her own safety so that she would not fall out and get hurt as her mental state was not that of a normal child. I remember someone saying, "Oh, don't touch her......she crazy!"

I cried as I knew that I had made a promise before I entered the gates of Go Vap orphanage. I promised God that I would not leave until every child had been touched, hugged, loved on, or spoken to.

As I was told not to touch, the "crazy girl," I thought, It will be a cold day in HELL before I leave here without touching her!

I cried as I caressed her leg, begging God to have someone else come by to show her some love. Please God, don't let me be the only one to notice this precious gift. This could have been my child. She could have been born from my womb, I kept thinking.

A little on down the hall was the room where all the downs syndrome kids were kept, in cribs.

Now, if you know me, you will know that Downs kids, to me, are ranking about just as awesome as a warm, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnut. THATS PRETTY STINKIN AWESOME!

I have even been known to consider capturing a downs kid and bringing them home to keep, forever, whether they already had a home or not. I just can't help it cause they are so adorable.

These kids were in cribs, all day long. They were "real" people. I hugged them, they hugged back. They needed me, to stay forever, and to be their mommy, but I couldn't. I had to go. I knew I would have to go, I just didn't know it would be this heart wrenching.

I had to come back to a life that I know God didn't plan to be this insane; meetings, emails, cell phones, financial difficulties, ipods, dish tv, the list could go on and on forever. I wanted to stay........forever or at least until every last orphan had a home.

Is that too much to ask?

Today, I am reminded of mission work, orphans, promises, and dreams of moving to foreign lands to love on children who don't have a Mommy of their own.

The pain in my heart is big for those that I had to leave behind. I think it's a good kind of pain. I need to feel it so I never forget. Never forget God's promises, where he sent us and what he brought my daughter's out of.

Why did we 'need" one more child? Why did we adopt a child with such special needs? Why did we have to go to Vietnam?

The answer, Because God asked us to. When many were against us and did not understand, we heard God's calling. We are not awesome, nor mighty, not even slightly special.

It was very scary to take that leap of Faith. But, God said GO! Are you sure God, we asked? Is this just me God? Is this you God,again we questioned him?

And God said, Go, I will go with you, Go! When we received Faith her belly was distended, her urine the color of coca-cola. I was then reminded by my wonderful husband that we had not traveled alone to Vietnam. He was with us the whole time.

This link will show you many of Faith's friends, about a year after we left. The little guy to the far right with the arm deformity is our precious friend Lam. He lives in sunny Florida now. Answered prayer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saBkhvhVMpg

Longing to dance with orphans.....in God's timing.

Bambi

Today is Friday.

That in itself makes me

oh

so

happy!



Normal day......whatever "normal" is. HA!
Work, early dismissal from school, lunch at Chinese, then a nap. Still trying to get over this nastiness of pneumonia.

When I left work/school today I was irritated.....alot. There is a parent who has kids at the school where I work. She drives me CrAzY! She is one of "those" people. You know, the kind that drives you crazy, is high maintenance, always the victim, and ALWAYS expects more than what you have energy to give. Yep, THAT'S HER!

So, again we dismissed early from school and she NEVER EVER EVER picks up her kids on time. Now, let me say that this parent isn't just 10 minutes late. She is 30 minutes, 45 minutes or an hour late on a normal day.

Now, let me also say that I understand being late. Ask my friend Kim or my husband, I am ALWAYS late....haven't figured out why yet, I just am. Now, at this stage in the game, I almost hate to break my pattern.

I was even late to my own mother's funeral. I wish I were kidding. I guess I figured she wasn't going anywhere nor would she care if I was late, so I was....late that is.

Thirty minutes after school dismisses, the Mom finally calls. She is irritated with the school, wants to know why we are dismissing early AGAIN???

I don't know, SERIOUSLY! Just get here so I can go eat some crab rangoon for Pete's sake. Truly, this whole getting out of school at a certain time is not new. It seems we dismiss every day, she just can't seem to remember what time!! Grrrrrrrr!

Another crazy day in the neighborhood.I feel kinda cranky today but, I'm sure you are not getting that vibe. :0

It was such a beautiful day outside. 65 degrees I think. Tomorrow, it's supposed to snow 3-6 inches in Missouri. Huh??

I am so tired of snow but, am so thankful for the beautiful day God gave us today. Hopefully, we will have more sunshiney days soon.


I feel like I should add a "gadget" to the side of my blog called "Elijah's bright ideas."

Two days ago Elijah shaved off his eyebrows. Today, instead of giving the dogs water in their water dish, he chose to give them diet coke. Not sure if they looked like they needed extra refreshing or what. I would say that he never could surprise me, but then he just may prove me wrong, so I won't say that. He is almost eleven, maybe he will grow out of this soon.

One could only hope.
Bambi

Thursday.....almost Friday...Thank U JESUS!

Well, it's been a long week to say the least. Our family is battling illness....yes, that's always OODLES O FUN!

I had a wisdom tooth cut out a week and a half ago and it led to a dry socket. After heading to the dentist for treatment to take me out of my misery, I headed to the doctor to find that I have pneumonia. Really?

I mean, I knew I couldn't breathe, felt like someone had hit me with a very large greyhound bus that was full to capacity with severely obese people, but pneumonia?

So, after a shot in the butt, 2 kinds of meds and a nebulizer, I was well on my way to recovery ....right? Ugh, or so the process began.

I went to work, backpack full of the nebulizer and everything. For some STUPID reason I felt like I must press on. I think it's the whole, Mom/Woman thing. We are expected to carry the world, so in turn, we try to do this no matter what the situation.

Well, Monday passed, still feel like crapola, Tuesday, no change Wednesday, which was yesterday, I collapsed. Just could not go on anymore. I left work at regular time and headed home, to bed!
ABSOLUTELY THE SMARTEST THING I'VE DONE ALL WEEK!

My husband and two of my sons are getting ill as well, so we all tried to rest....OH, except for the little people. The little people are Elijah, 10, Faith 8, and Gracie 5.

Now, Faith is nearly deaf...really deaf as a post! We're working on getting this corrected. However, her voice is not the one I heard while trying to rest. Gracie and Elijah, I would have laid $20 bucks on the fact that they were using megaphones.
They truly have no concept of quiet, whisper, talk soft and so on. Maybe I should host a class so they can attend! :)

Needless to say, my hubby rests peacefully for 2-3 hours, me, ya not so much.
Bill gets up and decides to take over for awhile. By this time, I'm so dang frustrated, I cant sleep, but I do rest, and this is priceless.

After resting for awhile I decide to glance at the clock. Well, I got home at 4:30, collapsed and now....it's OH MY GOSH IT'S 8:30! I have not done laundry, homework, dishes, laundry, dinner, laundry...DEAR LORD HELP ME NOW!

I had a Kit Kat bar, a few sour jelly beans, a diet coke and I was off and running.

I remembered this morning I have no clean underwear after I put on the last clean pair. WELL CRAP! So, now they mission is on...must get all this fun stuff done before bed.

Now, during the time that I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, Elijah was whining that he didn't feel good, Chevy was whining that he didn't feel good, Faith is watching Hannah Montana at 9:30 at night when she should be in bed. It was a zoo!

So, finally I get Elijah in the bathtub. He had yet to do his homework. Good times!

Well, almost....he said MOM, I don't feel good! I understand Elijah, I dont feel good either I tell him, but you gotta keep going, do your best I tell him. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMM, LOOK! What am I looking at Elijah? My pee....what? My pee? Why do I want to look at your pee? It is so yellow.......SEE MOM I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK! Pee is not supposed to be that yellow MMMMMMMMOMMMM!

Well, I didn't know how to respond so I simply said, while gritting my teeth, GETINTHEBATHTUBNOW!

He proceeds to get in. This seems like a simple task that I am asking him to do. Take a bath. Just three words cant be that difficult right?

Well, anyone who knows Elijah knows that he does not do anything the easy way! He never seems to suprise us. He does things, without thinking.

Okay, that's an understatement. You know how a crazy idea pops into your head like, hey, wonder what would happen if I hit that old lady with my car while you're driving down the street?

Well, you dont do it, cause you JUST DONT DO IT! But, Elijah does.

So, he proceeds to get a bikini razor and shave off his eyebrows. Yes, you heard me right.....POOF, NOW you see em, NOW you don't! I go in to the bathroom to find him getting ready to apply my mascara to his eyebrows to fix the damage he has done.

He is upset and yelling and crying. MOMMMMM, I LOOK STUPID!! Yep, I tell him, you sure do! MMMMOOOOMM! How could you say that? Well son, you see, you shaved off your eyebrows and you look stupid, how can I explain this in a way that you will understand?

So, there goes, the story of my life, as a Mom, it is never dull or boring. We are a lively group you see.

So, Thursday it is today and I am back at work...eyebrowless kid in tow, trying just to get through the day when I feel like crapola yet again.

Lord, please give me strength. Whehhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I need a nap and some cheese for my whine!
Bambi

Really, am I being PUNKED?

Let me give you the low down on the past few days of my life. Yes, I would like some cheese with my wine. Please bare with me while I run off on a cranky tangent.

Last week, we found out that Gracie needs her tonsils out....ok, add that to my "TO DO" list.

I took Faith to the doctor this weak and found out that she needs tonsils and adenoids removed, along with new tubes placed in her ears to hopefully help with her hearing. If this doesnt work, we will proceed to hearing aids.

Yesterday, it was very busy at work...really this is a HUGE understatement.

Two teachers were ill as well as the school cook. Just as the principal came to tell me to please keep the coffee coming, Jacob came to tell me he had dropped the coffee pot and it had shattered when I asked him to fill it up with water so I could make coffee.

OOPS.....not gonna happen!Si life goes on....coffeeless or not.

Have a greatday, no matter what!

Bambi

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

After much discussion, Faith has decided that she wants to go to Disney World for her Make A Wish experience.




We gave her many options, the first being Vietnam to see her friends. But, she seemed more excited when we looked through the internet and came upon Giant Teacups to ride on and the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique, where she will be transformed into any princess of her choosing.

I was praying to go back to Vietnam and give back, but was soon reminded that this is not my wish, this is Faith's wish.

So, HERE WE COME MICKEY AND MINNIE!

I am not sure when our trip will be, possibly summer or fall, but we are SUPER DUPER EXCITED!! Everyday Faith asked to look at the princesses and the big giant ball....AKA, Epcot.

Wefound out that Disney World has a seperate 70 acre plot of ground, that is open for families of children with special medical needs just like Faith has. They can be around children, just like them,that know how it feels to be different.

This is called Give Kids The World at Disney. Although they do have a website, I have been told that the website does not do it justice.

What a blessing it is for us to go on a family trip and experience this excitement and joy with Faith and not have to think about finances and diseases.

We have invited my dad to go with us. Since my mother passed away a few months ago, life has been a struggle for him. He tries to hide it on the outside, but he too is only human. I would love to spend this time with him, together with my family. He would only have to pay for his airfare and food since our roooms will be taken care of. My airfare to Olando when I went for my training recently was only $164. I am hoping that he does go and that fares are as cheap when we book the flights.

Seven days in the land of Mickey and Minnie will be nothing short of magnificent for the seven, hopefully eight of us.

Bambi

It is B E A UTIFUL outside!

Today is a sunny Sunday. I woke up bright and early because of the cool breeze, birds chirping, and the beautiful sunshine coming through.



After we have spent this awful winter in doors with loads of snow and some ice too, I am glad to have a lil sunshine and warm weather. To me, right now, anything above 14 degrees is warm!! Bring out the bikini's ladies!! Let's get our sun tan on! :)

I was, however, scared to get out of bed this morning. Why, you may ask? The laundry....it frightens me! It breeds like rabbits when I am sleeping, working, sitting, standing...you name it....IT IS REPRODUCING!! ARGH says this Momma Bear!

I have nowhere to store dirty laundry as my washer and dryer are in the bathroom in a closet like space. So, laundry MUST be done every day.....usually three to four loads a day at the Rockhold house, depending on the weather.

Summer always seems to be easier on the laundry side of things as outfits are smaller, heck sometimes my I let my girls wear swimsuits alllll day long. They think I am treating them, but little do they know. I am the one who is really being treated.

It just hit me that I could do a whole week's worth of posts just about laundry. You know how in basketball games sometimes they go into an overtime? Ya, I could go into an overtime on the life of my dirty laundry.

I will save you, no worries.

Coming back from Florida and back into reality was not easy by any means.

I have determined.....and I quote, " I DO NOT LIKE REALITY!" Reality is dirty laundry, grumble grumble, cleaning...ewwwww, work (nuff said) long hours, and little sleep.

I love my job so much. I love my family even more. Life just really wears me out. And then I stop and think....is it me? Am I just lazy? Or is life just exhausting. I decided on the latter scenario........even if I am in denial, my therapists says I can live in my own world, they like me there.

Tomorrow I have to take Faith to the ENT at Children's Mercy to see about getting her hearing fixed and determining why she continues to struggle to hear. I feel so sorry for Faith. She always seems to get the short end of the stick. She pushes on, she amazes me daily.

As my husband shared Faith's "Make A Wish" story with a gentleman at his work, the man told Bill how much our family deserved this trip of a lifetime.

Although he was being very kind, I have to disagree. We are sooooooooo not amazing and we are so unworthy of the love that has been shown to us by this kind gesture from Make A Wish.

If Faith were born from my belly, which we see her no differently this way, we would not be amazing for caring for her. We would just be parents, doing their job.

Adoption, to me is just as much of a miracle as birth. Both, orchestrated by God and amazing beyond words.

I cannot imagine my life without any of my children, all five of them. They are each so amazing in their own ways. They have different personalities, different colored eyes, they learn differently and I have a differently unique relationship with each them.

At times, I wanna pinch their little heads off, but then I take a step back and know that as a mother, I am so immensily blessed.

Well, You guesses it, we're out of towels and the dryer just buzzed!
See ya next time, same bat time, same bat channel.

Bambi