Saturday, March 27, 2010

From Hopeless to Hopeful....

Yesterday was an exhausting day, to say the least. From 10 am to three pm, Faith, Gracie and I were at Children's Mercy Hospital for 3 appointments. We also needed to have Faith's medical records sent out to Chicago Children's Memorial for Faith's June appointment. This was an easier process than I originally thought and I have to say that I was tremendously thankful for this.

During the day's events, we found out that Gracie and Faith will have their surgeries on April 20th. Gracie will be having her tonsils removed and Faith will be having her tonsils and adenoids removed, along with removing one tube in the right ear that is doing her no good at all with her hearing issues and patching the hole in her ear from the tube. Deeeeeeep Breath.....and now we proceed to hearing aids. Several months ago, the thought of hearing aids for my daughter made me want to curl up in a ball on the floor and cry.

Now, I am thankful that we have gotten to the bottom of Faith's hearing issues and can move forward with life.

We were told that Faith's hearing issues are not due to a fluid build up behind either of her ears. She can't hear because of the bone in her middle ear being thickened. Her right hear has less damage than her left, but she still has significant hearing loss.

Faith is an easy going child who delights in the simple things. She and Gracie seem to always be in a competition and it cracks us up or drives us crazy, depending on the day. Faith wants to be bigger, because she is small. Gracie is 5 1/2 and she and Faith are about the same size, even though Faith is 8 1/2.

Faith was ECSTATIC yesterday when she found out she would be the proud new recipient of a pair of hearing aids in just a few short weeks. She was told that she would be able to choose what color she wants her hearing aids to be which includes, pink with sprinkles (glitter, but Faith cannot quite get that concept lol) zebra stripes, purple, or whatever her lil heart desires.

What is the next thing I heard out of Gracie's mouth? You guessed it. Mommmmmmmy, I want hearing aids! That's not fair! I want pink with sprinkles!! Oh Gracie, I am sorry, you have great hearing and will not be getting hearing

Although Faith doesn't seem to be concerned as of yet, we wanted her to be proud of her hearing aids and strutt them in style.

In my search for "COOLNESS" I found a website which I have now added to my blog as a link. The site was created by a lil 10 year old girl named Hayleigh that has hearing aids. She designed "hearing aid earrings" to jazz up hearing aids so that kids would not be so self conscious about wearing them.

Her site is Go check it out! Here is a pic of one of the examples that Hayleigh has designed. She even has her own patent and YES, we placed our first order today.

It seems so odd that two of my children were not born of my flesh along with the flesh of my husband. Adoption, just seems so natural to us.

I have to say that Faith's adoption, unlike Gracie's, was not an easy transition. Gracie was 15 months when we brought her home from China. Faith was five when we brought her home from Vietnam.

Yes, we loved her, cared for her, nurtured her, but she had special needs that we were not aware of which caused emotional distress for Faith and for us. We did the best we could, Faith and us, but we were both functioning without all of the details. It was kinda like making a dessert, without all the ingredients...IT JUST DOESN'T WORK!

After finding out that Faith had reactive hypoglycemia, all the details and events seemed to line up and we had one of those AAAA HAAAA moments. After we knew her diagnosis, it all made sense. She would have issues with walking across the room at times as her blood sugar would drop. She would go into a trance at meal time sometimes so much once, that I almost called an ambulance. We thought these things were adoption related, but ended up being something health related.

It's so funny how we think we know "the plans" God has or we have for ourselves, when in the end, we are truly, missing some ingredients.

I am thankful for each of my children. I think, almost on a daily basis how my daughter's lives could be so different. I do not think this because we "rescued them." I have never felt that way. In fact, I feel as our daughters and God rescued us from a life "inside the box," "inside the norm" with the white picket fence and the 2 kids and a house that's paid for.

I think how Gracie could be wandering the streets of China, begging for money to eat. I remember children begging us for money on the streets of China and how it tore my heart apart. I remember being told not to give and thought, "How can I not?"

Then there is lil Miss Faith who the orphanage could no longer afford to care for. They were not aware that she was hypoglycemic, had hearing loss and was deficient of many vitamins that were and are essential for normal growth.

They had done all that they could do, yet it was not enough. And God said GO! Huh, who, what, us? Our families said, "You are off your rocker!"

Walk, Leap, RUN......GO, and when we felt like few were behind us, we knew what God had told us to do. Scared to death, we were. His plans, not ours.

And here we are today with two girls and three boys that are more rotten than ever, and yet, they are ours and we would not have it any other way.

I often wonder how God can show us unconditional, "CRAZY LOVE" as we screw up time and time again, yet, He does so.

Go see my friend Linny at Check out what "CRAZY LOVE" can do. She inspires me on a daily basis. She has faith that only I can dream of having and a heart as big as CHINA!

I found the statement below of another blog. I cannot claim it as my own, yet it sums up what my heart says to me. Adoption, everyone has their piece of it

"When I look into my children's eyes, I see everything that they can be and the greatest desire of my heart is to help them fulfill their dreams. One night while rocking my son to sleep, it just hit me that there are children in the world who have no one that dreams of what they can be. No one looks at them and sees their potential and loves them unconditionally. No one sits with them, holding them even after they are asleep just so they can watch their sweet little face. There are children that were born on the same days as my sons but because of the circumstances surrounding their birth, they have no one. The unjustness of that really broke my heart. Why in this world where we spend millions of dollars on sporting events, campaign fundraisers, inauguration parties, and opening ceremonies, are there children who no one helps? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with those things, but when the most expensive adoption tops out at around $50K, it seems that there should be more attention drawn to what we value as a society."

From HopeLESS to HopeFUL