Saturday, March 20, 2010

And then, the phone rings.........

Copy and paste this link below to see a wonderful girl that has been volunteering at Go Vap orphanage in Vietnam. This is the orphanage that Faith lived in and this is what I want to do with my life, dance with orphans.

It has been awhile since I have talked to our wonderful friend Henry that helped us while we were in Vietnam adopting Faith. Last night, he called.

It's amazing how, in a split second, your world can melt away when you are reminded what God has given to you.

In my email to Henry I asked if he would talk to the nanny that cared for Faith to see if she had noticed, hearing issues, leg pains, and issues with hypoglycemia. Also, I asked if he would find out more information about her biological family.

We are interested to know if Faith's hearing issues are related to past ear infections, family history or both.

More than anything, we want her family to know that she is safe and cared for, that she has a sister that's rotten and three brothers too. I can't imagine the heartache her parents must have felt when they could no longer care for her and had to give her to the orphanage. She was almost two years old. Can you even imagine?

Oh how their lives must have an empty spot where she once was. Her ears were pierced and she wore a necklace that was inscribed on the day she entered the orphanage. She was obviously doted upon.

After coming home from Vietnam with Faith and looking through her adoption paperwork, I found that her parents names and their address was included in it. I was floored by the fact that I had this information and was unaware until that very moment that I stumbled upon it.

I took a moment to stare at the names and the address that they lived. There it was. I never had this with Gracie as she was abandoned at the age of 7 days old. And then, there it was............ in plain sight. Now, what do I do with this information?

I thought about instantly packing up and going back to Vietnam to meet Faith's family.

I didn't say I was thinking logically. But, at that moment, it's what I wanted to do. I couldn't!! Ugh, I wanted to......... I longed to.........but, I couldn't.

Henry is in San Fransisco. Due to some corruption with adoptions, Vietnam has shut down any and all adoptions with the U.S. So, there they are, the kids without families, and they just sit.....and wait......and wait for someone, anyone, to come.

This breaks my heart as I know, my daughter could be one of the ones that continues to wait for someone to tuck her in at night. God is a BIG BIG God and he sent grace and mercy to a little girl that so desperately needed reality her story, our story, could be so different.

Even though it was over three years ago, I remember being in Vietnam like it was yesterday. The smell of Vietnam, like China, is distinct. There are no words than can describe it adequately. I just know that I remember, "the smell."

If I close my eyes real tight and think about the day we got Faith in Vietnam, I can remember the smell, sights and sounds that we were a part of on that day.

I remember how many people questioned our ability to care for five children when we shared how we were headed to Vietnam for Faith. Why do you need another child? Why Vietnam? Why in the world would you adopt a child with such a significant special need?

As I walked through the halls of Go Vap orphanage, the part of me that once cared what people said and thought vanished. The babies in the baby room were lying in cribs, side, by side, by side, one right after the other. Some had nastiness coming out of their noses, others cried, just wanting to be comforted and caressed.

Down the hall, there where children that had hydrocephalus. Some had heads the size of a large yoga ball. I wish I were kidding. In Vietnam, though the orphanage did the best they could, adequate medical care was not readily available. These babies laid, their heads to heavy to lift, just waiting for Jesus to come and whisk them away from this life that they had not asked to be placed into.

A little further down the hall was the ward where all the mentally handicapped children were cared for.

One child specifically was tied with cloth straps to her crib. They did this for her own safety so that she would not fall out and get hurt as her mental state was not that of a normal child. I remember someone saying, "Oh, don't touch her......she crazy!"

I cried as I knew that I had made a promise before I entered the gates of Go Vap orphanage. I promised God that I would not leave until every child had been touched, hugged, loved on, or spoken to.

As I was told not to touch, the "crazy girl," I thought, It will be a cold day in HELL before I leave here without touching her!

I cried as I caressed her leg, begging God to have someone else come by to show her some love. Please God, don't let me be the only one to notice this precious gift. This could have been my child. She could have been born from my womb, I kept thinking.

A little on down the hall was the room where all the downs syndrome kids were kept, in cribs.

Now, if you know me, you will know that Downs kids, to me, are ranking about just as awesome as a warm, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnut. THATS PRETTY STINKIN AWESOME!

I have even been known to consider capturing a downs kid and bringing them home to keep, forever, whether they already had a home or not. I just can't help it cause they are so adorable.

These kids were in cribs, all day long. They were "real" people. I hugged them, they hugged back. They needed me, to stay forever, and to be their mommy, but I couldn't. I had to go. I knew I would have to go, I just didn't know it would be this heart wrenching.

I had to come back to a life that I know God didn't plan to be this insane; meetings, emails, cell phones, financial difficulties, ipods, dish tv, the list could go on and on forever. I wanted to stay........forever or at least until every last orphan had a home.

Is that too much to ask?

Today, I am reminded of mission work, orphans, promises, and dreams of moving to foreign lands to love on children who don't have a Mommy of their own.

The pain in my heart is big for those that I had to leave behind. I think it's a good kind of pain. I need to feel it so I never forget. Never forget God's promises, where he sent us and what he brought my daughter's out of.

Why did we 'need" one more child? Why did we adopt a child with such special needs? Why did we have to go to Vietnam?

The answer, Because God asked us to. When many were against us and did not understand, we heard God's calling. We are not awesome, nor mighty, not even slightly special.

It was very scary to take that leap of Faith. But, God said GO! Are you sure God, we asked? Is this just me God? Is this you God,again we questioned him?

And God said, Go, I will go with you, Go! When we received Faith her belly was distended, her urine the color of coca-cola. I was then reminded by my wonderful husband that we had not traveled alone to Vietnam. He was with us the whole time.

This link will show you many of Faith's friends, about a year after we left. The little guy to the far right with the arm deformity is our precious friend Lam. He lives in sunny Florida now. Answered prayer.

Longing to dance with God's timing.