Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Where has the time gone?
To say that I am behind on blogging is a HUGE understatement.
Our team traveled to Uganda in April of 2011. It is now the end of December and I have yet to tell about all of the story.
The many things that we witnessed were life-changing......but those words don't even do the surroundings we saw justice. I have no words for what we gazed upon.
I will come back (pinky promise) to tell more about the African adventures but, for now, am on a SPECIFIC MISSION!! While in Uganda I found that many women had been given the chance at a real job. They had left what they knew which was a life of prostitution.
They had been schooled in a new trade. A trade that would feed their children,keep them clothed, and bring them closer to feeling like they are worthy of the breath that they breathe.
They now make jewelry....beautiful jewelry. Their specialty is making paper bead necklaces. They literally find old newspapers, sit for hours and roll tiny pieces of them into beads, then cover them in a laquer to keep them secured.
One necklace takes many hours to make. Yet, these women are simply trying to feed and clothe the children that they birthed into a world of little opportunities.
One may say, "Why don't these women practice safe sex or simply be abstinant?"
Did I mention many of these women are babies themselves? Many still in their teens have been impregnated due to rape or incest. Yes, many have had to carry their uncles or father's child. They have not "CHOSEN" to have children. They have literally, not been given a choice.
CAN YOU IMAGINE? We are so quick to pass judgement as to how some people should lead their lives. We are quick to give advice or suggestions; yet when we are given all the details......we become silent.
The brokenness that surrounds these women must seem too heavy for them most days.
We have been given an amazing opportunity.
My friend, Lutaaya, recently came to America. One of his sponsors and partners of African Hearts Boy's School brought him to the U.S. to have him tell others about the need in Uganda and what he is doing to help make a change in the lives of the people of Uganda. If you would like to know more about African Hearts, click on this link to take you directly to their website.
http://www.african-hearts.org/
Guess what he brought with him when he came????? YOU GUESSED IT!!! PAPER BEAD NECKLACES!
My sister Kim and I were excited to get our hands on these. We know, even though we are thousands of miles away, we need to be COMMITED to making a difference in the lives of these people.
We have decided to SPREAD THE WORD through one of the most widely known social media networks around. You got it, FACEBOOK!
We pray that anyone who reads this will choose to -----share---- with a friend or possibly 1,000 friends.
It is NOT our job to sit back and enjoy our comfy livs as people on the other side of the world are literally STARVING TO DEATH! They drink from the same water they bathe in. They are skinny, starving, homeless,sick, dying, orphaned, unloved, abused, hurting,and they are longing to be rescued, fed, loved, well, and simple live. SIMPLY LIVE.
They are a happy people, which truly took me back. They have nothing....N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!! They are lucky to sleep on cardboard, yet are some of the most grateful, happiest people I have ever encountered.
I surely could take a lesson from them. We all could....and should.
I know many have not been to Uganda, and that's okay. I hadn't either until a few short months ago. I ask that you trust me when I say the need there is overwhelming. The need is BIG....HUGE! But, God is BIGGER tha their need. He has blessed us in ways that soome can never imagine. Even if you think you have litle that you can give or do, your little would mean so much to a child that may likely die from malaria or starvation.
We must do!!!
My sister and I have possibly 250 paper bead necklaces. The colors are remarkable. To find out that the beads had been made of paper after seeing these crations, we were blown away. Surely, I thought, they were teasing me. But, no.....all jokes aside......paper. Yet, their beauty is breath taking.
We were told by our friend that he would leave as many strands of paper beads with s to sell as we wanted. Our response you ask?? GIVE US ALL OF THEM!!! Surely we can tell your story, their story, and people will want to give. Also, in return each will have a beautiful necklace to cherish too.
The pictures truly don't do them justice. They are GORGEOUS!!!
We have decided to sell these necklaces and then send our friend the money we make, via paypal. We are NOT keeping ANY portion of the funds received from the necklace sales for ourselves or any other purpose. ALL MONIES DONATED WILL BE SENT TO UGANDA, TO OUR FRIEND, TO FEED THE STARVING CHILDREN of the streets.
No ifs ands, or buts, we simply want to be God's hands and feet. We feel blessed to even remotely be a part of His plan.
If you live in another state, we will ship any necklaces you order. If you live close, we promise to deliver. If you choose to simply donate to this very worthy cause, WE THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!
The pictures that you see on this page are not photoshopped or perfected in any way. These people are NOT actors. The pictures are ones that were taken while we were in Uganda.
I pray you will find yourselves wanting to do more to help a people that are destitute.
Please join us a we work to help feed and love on the people of Uganda.
Your efforts will not go unnoticed. God will surely bless you.
Please email or send money via paypal to: heart1054@hotmail.com
Thank you for partnering with us.
Many Blessings to come,
Bambi
Our team traveled to Uganda in April of 2011. It is now the end of December and I have yet to tell about all of the story.
The many things that we witnessed were life-changing......but those words don't even do the surroundings we saw justice. I have no words for what we gazed upon.
I will come back (pinky promise) to tell more about the African adventures but, for now, am on a SPECIFIC MISSION!! While in Uganda I found that many women had been given the chance at a real job. They had left what they knew which was a life of prostitution.
They had been schooled in a new trade. A trade that would feed their children,keep them clothed, and bring them closer to feeling like they are worthy of the breath that they breathe.
They now make jewelry....beautiful jewelry. Their specialty is making paper bead necklaces. They literally find old newspapers, sit for hours and roll tiny pieces of them into beads, then cover them in a laquer to keep them secured.
One necklace takes many hours to make. Yet, these women are simply trying to feed and clothe the children that they birthed into a world of little opportunities.
One may say, "Why don't these women practice safe sex or simply be abstinant?"
Did I mention many of these women are babies themselves? Many still in their teens have been impregnated due to rape or incest. Yes, many have had to carry their uncles or father's child. They have not "CHOSEN" to have children. They have literally, not been given a choice.
CAN YOU IMAGINE? We are so quick to pass judgement as to how some people should lead their lives. We are quick to give advice or suggestions; yet when we are given all the details......we become silent.
The brokenness that surrounds these women must seem too heavy for them most days.
We have been given an amazing opportunity.
My friend, Lutaaya, recently came to America. One of his sponsors and partners of African Hearts Boy's School brought him to the U.S. to have him tell others about the need in Uganda and what he is doing to help make a change in the lives of the people of Uganda. If you would like to know more about African Hearts, click on this link to take you directly to their website.
http://www.african-hearts.org/
Guess what he brought with him when he came????? YOU GUESSED IT!!! PAPER BEAD NECKLACES!
My sister Kim and I were excited to get our hands on these. We know, even though we are thousands of miles away, we need to be COMMITED to making a difference in the lives of these people.
We have decided to SPREAD THE WORD through one of the most widely known social media networks around. You got it, FACEBOOK!
We pray that anyone who reads this will choose to -----share---- with a friend or possibly 1,000 friends.
It is NOT our job to sit back and enjoy our comfy livs as people on the other side of the world are literally STARVING TO DEATH! They drink from the same water they bathe in. They are skinny, starving, homeless,sick, dying, orphaned, unloved, abused, hurting,and they are longing to be rescued, fed, loved, well, and simple live. SIMPLY LIVE.
They are a happy people, which truly took me back. They have nothing....N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!! They are lucky to sleep on cardboard, yet are some of the most grateful, happiest people I have ever encountered.
I surely could take a lesson from them. We all could....and should.
I know many have not been to Uganda, and that's okay. I hadn't either until a few short months ago. I ask that you trust me when I say the need there is overwhelming. The need is BIG....HUGE! But, God is BIGGER tha their need. He has blessed us in ways that soome can never imagine. Even if you think you have litle that you can give or do, your little would mean so much to a child that may likely die from malaria or starvation.
We must do!!!
My sister and I have possibly 250 paper bead necklaces. The colors are remarkable. To find out that the beads had been made of paper after seeing these crations, we were blown away. Surely, I thought, they were teasing me. But, no.....all jokes aside......paper. Yet, their beauty is breath taking.
We were told by our friend that he would leave as many strands of paper beads with s to sell as we wanted. Our response you ask?? GIVE US ALL OF THEM!!! Surely we can tell your story, their story, and people will want to give. Also, in return each will have a beautiful necklace to cherish too.
The pictures truly don't do them justice. They are GORGEOUS!!!
We have decided to sell these necklaces and then send our friend the money we make, via paypal. We are NOT keeping ANY portion of the funds received from the necklace sales for ourselves or any other purpose. ALL MONIES DONATED WILL BE SENT TO UGANDA, TO OUR FRIEND, TO FEED THE STARVING CHILDREN of the streets.
No ifs ands, or buts, we simply want to be God's hands and feet. We feel blessed to even remotely be a part of His plan.
If you live in another state, we will ship any necklaces you order. If you live close, we promise to deliver. If you choose to simply donate to this very worthy cause, WE THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!
The pictures that you see on this page are not photoshopped or perfected in any way. These people are NOT actors. The pictures are ones that were taken while we were in Uganda.
I pray you will find yourselves wanting to do more to help a people that are destitute.
Please join us a we work to help feed and love on the people of Uganda.
Your efforts will not go unnoticed. God will surely bless you.
Please email or send money via paypal to: heart1054@hotmail.com
Thank you for partnering with us.
Many Blessings to come,
Bambi
Sunday, April 10, 2011
IT'S A BOY!
Yes, you read that correctly!! IT'S A BOY!!! Actually, it's three boys. They are beautiful African boys and I am now their momma.
They are......oh wait, let's not get into that just yet. Let me tell you how the day began. Come on, it'll be worth it! Please stay with me and trust me on this one. Ok?!
Our day began with a visit to Ssangu Babies Home. One baby is new. She just came back to the babies home yesterday after a stay in the hospital. Her name is Arrianna and she is one of the most tiny treasures I have ever seen. She may weigh 5 pounds.....on a good day. No,seriously. She is so itty bitty. She has a head full of black curly hair. Her skin hangs from her almost pencil sized arms.I am able to count every one of her ribs and her spine is protruding from lack of baby fat that would normally be present. I see no baby rolls as I gaze upon her tiny figure......no round belly from being fed well.
My heart cries out for her. Ohhhhh Arrianna, Jesus loves you! He truly does!
I hear people say.....Why do you want, need more children Bambi? Why do you travel to foreign lands? What for? I heard something shortly before departing for Uganda that quite disturbed me.
Why are you going to Uganda to take care of other people's children? You have your own five at home that need you.
I tell you that God does not want us to be SIT STILL people. He has not asked me to stay and watch but has said Listen......GO!
My children are at home. They have cell phones and fresh smelling clothes. Each plays on a computer some time throughout the day and asks, "Mom, what's for dinner?"
Children in Uganda have no home. They do not have cell phones or clothes, let alone clean ones. No Mom. No dinner. Kinda puts things into persepective doesn't it?
I would highly suggest for any person, no matter the age, to take a mission's trip. Go somewhere, anywhere. Don't be scared. Don't hesitate even though I know at times we cannot help ourselves. The thought of stepping outside of our comfort zones can be debilitating.
When God asked me to come to Uganda, I was FOR SURE he had dialed the wrong digits. WRONG NUMBER GOD! OOPS TRY AGAIN GOD!
But, he was insistant on where He would be sending me to love on His children. There is no love like the love of a momma and I feel honored to pour out any speck of love that I can during the short time I'm in this land.
He does also know that I have a liking for big brown eyes. OK GOD, you roped me in! Sign me up! I'm hooked!
I have no inkling why our BIG, GIANT, AWESOME God would choose me, this crazy, simple, unworthy, Missouri Momma to love on the unloved forgotten treasures of the world. I know He does not call the equipped, but He equips the called. And here am I, in Uganda, in awe of His awesomeness, unworthy of these blessings that have been bestowed upon me.
Words will never adequately describe Uganda and the people that I have come to call family in the past 7 days.
Truly, this trip has been breath taking in so many ways.
Many days are harder than the previous one. I find myself crying, my body shaking uncontrollably from the sheer depth of the emotion that I am experiencing.
Yesterday was so hard for me....devastating to be quite honest. DEVASTATING! Oh how my heart hurts, longggggggggggggs, aches to do more. More loving, more giving, more doing for these people.
Please God guide my steps as I seek to only do your will for my life.
Please keep my 3 new African sons safe and loved until I return to love on them more. They are beautiful, smart, full of potential boys.
My new son, George, he aspires to be a pastor one day. How proud this would make his Momma! Hey, THAT'S ME!! THAT'S ME!
You are going to hate me but, I must depart for now. Dinner is served and I am forced to close up shop so to speak.
I will tell you all about my new sons as soon as I can steal away for a brief moment.
I WISH YOU COULD SEE THEIR SMILING FACES TONIGHT AS THEY ARE SO HAPPY TO NOW HAVE A MOMMA TO CALL THEIR OWN!
I love you all!
Love,
Momma Bambi
They are......oh wait, let's not get into that just yet. Let me tell you how the day began. Come on, it'll be worth it! Please stay with me and trust me on this one. Ok?!
Our day began with a visit to Ssangu Babies Home. One baby is new. She just came back to the babies home yesterday after a stay in the hospital. Her name is Arrianna and she is one of the most tiny treasures I have ever seen. She may weigh 5 pounds.....on a good day. No,seriously. She is so itty bitty. She has a head full of black curly hair. Her skin hangs from her almost pencil sized arms.I am able to count every one of her ribs and her spine is protruding from lack of baby fat that would normally be present. I see no baby rolls as I gaze upon her tiny figure......no round belly from being fed well.
My heart cries out for her. Ohhhhh Arrianna, Jesus loves you! He truly does!
I hear people say.....Why do you want, need more children Bambi? Why do you travel to foreign lands? What for? I heard something shortly before departing for Uganda that quite disturbed me.
Why are you going to Uganda to take care of other people's children? You have your own five at home that need you.
I tell you that God does not want us to be SIT STILL people. He has not asked me to stay and watch but has said Listen......GO!
My children are at home. They have cell phones and fresh smelling clothes. Each plays on a computer some time throughout the day and asks, "Mom, what's for dinner?"
Children in Uganda have no home. They do not have cell phones or clothes, let alone clean ones. No Mom. No dinner. Kinda puts things into persepective doesn't it?
I would highly suggest for any person, no matter the age, to take a mission's trip. Go somewhere, anywhere. Don't be scared. Don't hesitate even though I know at times we cannot help ourselves. The thought of stepping outside of our comfort zones can be debilitating.
When God asked me to come to Uganda, I was FOR SURE he had dialed the wrong digits. WRONG NUMBER GOD! OOPS TRY AGAIN GOD!
But, he was insistant on where He would be sending me to love on His children. There is no love like the love of a momma and I feel honored to pour out any speck of love that I can during the short time I'm in this land.
He does also know that I have a liking for big brown eyes. OK GOD, you roped me in! Sign me up! I'm hooked!
I have no inkling why our BIG, GIANT, AWESOME God would choose me, this crazy, simple, unworthy, Missouri Momma to love on the unloved forgotten treasures of the world. I know He does not call the equipped, but He equips the called. And here am I, in Uganda, in awe of His awesomeness, unworthy of these blessings that have been bestowed upon me.
Words will never adequately describe Uganda and the people that I have come to call family in the past 7 days.
Truly, this trip has been breath taking in so many ways.
Many days are harder than the previous one. I find myself crying, my body shaking uncontrollably from the sheer depth of the emotion that I am experiencing.
Yesterday was so hard for me....devastating to be quite honest. DEVASTATING! Oh how my heart hurts, longggggggggggggs, aches to do more. More loving, more giving, more doing for these people.
Please God guide my steps as I seek to only do your will for my life.
Please keep my 3 new African sons safe and loved until I return to love on them more. They are beautiful, smart, full of potential boys.
My new son, George, he aspires to be a pastor one day. How proud this would make his Momma! Hey, THAT'S ME!! THAT'S ME!
You are going to hate me but, I must depart for now. Dinner is served and I am forced to close up shop so to speak.
I will tell you all about my new sons as soon as I can steal away for a brief moment.
I WISH YOU COULD SEE THEIR SMILING FACES TONIGHT AS THEY ARE SO HAPPY TO NOW HAVE A MOMMA TO CALL THEIR OWN!
I love you all!
Love,
Momma Bambi
Saturday, April 9, 2011
With a heavy heart
Today was the hardest day yet in Uganda.
I was aware of the mission that was planned for today, yet had no idea how difficult it would actually be.
A woman who lives here in Uganda was getting married. She has 16 sons who were once street boys, yes they lived on the streets of Uganda with no momma to love them.
We had been invited to her wedding. If any of you can remember, we were collecting shirts, ties, and other items to fit about 200+ street boys because they too were invited to the wedding.All of the team brought many suitcases filled with donations for these lil kings.
Let me explain how these boys live. The images you have seen on tv that show the filth, the trash, the poverty......this is truly where these children live. This is the real deal, no dress up......no pretend play, oh how I wish!
Our day began by going into the slums of Uganda. Our van pulled up and boys screamed with glee for what seemed like miles away. They knew we were coming. They had been told.
These children have nothing......no I can't stress enough..........they have nothing.
They fight each other to just have an opportunity at a warm meal, which is something that looks like mushy, runny glue. Yet they are thankful, for they have nothing.
I heard many call out to me, Mommy.....Auntie.......they long for someone to just show them affection.
Many children in Uganda huff paint and other things because when they do this, it curbs the hunger pains. I sat across from a 10-12 year old boy that was higher than a kite.
I prayed that Jesus would send in a rescue boat to come whisk him away to a better, safer life.
UNFATHOMABLE!!! There are no adequate words to describe the pain of this momma's heart. My entire body and soul ache for them.
I think of my boys at home and how their biggest stress is which one will play the X-Box next or who drank the last Dr. Pepper.
How I wish this were the case in Uganda.
We fitted boys with shirts, ties, pants, underwear, and shoes. These children were wearing rags. Most did not have underwear, let alone a clean pair.
We then fitted them with corsages and sprayed them with boy's cologne. They were each given a bag with a picture and note from someone in America. We explained that the family was in America praying for them.
One boy, who was about the age of 18 came and found Kim. He had received a picture of her and her family. He said, "I found you! Are you my mother?"
Swallow that in one big gulp! Can you imagine? 18, nearly an adult yet, still longing for a mother to love him.
The smaller children would reach for us and we would hold them. We did not ask what they smelled of, what their story was, or anything else for that matter. We just simply loved. We picked them up. We cuddled them. We told them that Jesus loved them. Time stopped as I imagine what their future would hold.
Will they be here if I come back in 6 months? A year? Will they die of AIDS? Will they get beaten to death while simply trying to get a meal for their empty bellies?
The clothes had been given out, as well as the shoes, yet there were still more children. What now God?? HELP!
We had to tell the children that though they had stood in line and waited so long, in the end they would get nothing. We promised to love on them. Yet, some got nothing.
Some may say, Well, you can't change the world Bambi. Ahhhhhh, but I can change the world of one child, two children......and many more.
In America we worry about our children sharing a room. Families here fit into a room smaller than my bathroom.
Oh how my body and soul aches for these precious forgotten treasures.
Our day went on as we went to the wedding. These beautiful boys, an hour earlier dressed in rags, were now dressed as if they came out of the J.C. Penney's catalog.
Their smiles, from ear to ear. Their bodies danced as the beautiful African music played. For one moment in time, they had no worries. I longed to take their pain........for forever.
One boy stood out to me in a crowd of many. His name is Fred. He is 18 and he is beautiful. He has a smile that would melt any girls heart. His eyes
show pure joy. He is a leader. I could tell this right away. He wood take the younger boys under his wing and guide them.
He danced like I have never seen any boy dance in my life. Yet, he lives on the streets. He is alone.
Tonight I sit at a computer, while I'm sure he is laying in a mud room, possibly laddend with disease.
I begged God to etch his face in my mind. I never want to forget him. How could I? How dare I?
In the middle of the beautiful wedding ceremony, I looked around and many boys were sleeping. I asked why and was told that they are so tired from having no where to sleep. When they feel at peace somewhere, they fall asleep.
Can you imagine being a boy, living on the streets and then someone scoops you up, dresses you in fancy clothing, and invites you over for dinner? Can you imagine?????
This was the case here and excitement consumed us all.
At the reception I watched as boys were served fancy food, and a Fanta Orange soda in a glass bottle. I had to bow my head and thank Jesus as the tears stremed down my face in pure joy.
The singing, the dancing, the food, I cannot put into words how awesome and awful today was all at the same time.
When they children were done, the plates were empty. EMPTY! Nothing that they didnt like was left on the plates. They were so thankful for a simple meal.
Children called out to me....Mommy, Auntie throughout the entire day. It made my heart happy to know for one single moment in time, these princes felt loved.
I wish I could have chartered a 777 plane and brought all of the boys home to America with me. I prayed for Jesus to FIX THIS!!! FIX IT!! MAGIC ERASER BAR KINDA FIX THIS JESUS! Make it all go away! It truly was too much to bear!
I asked about Fred. I wanted to know more about his story. Two beautiful Ugandan mommas inquired for me. I told them I would love to be his American momma. They ran and told him to come here, and so he did.
I explained to him that though we would be 9,000 miles away, I would be loving him. I would be praying for him. I would come back to visit him. He agreed that he would like this.
The tears poured out of my eyes like a faucet as I was consumed by heartache. I begged for heaven and earth to move on his account. SHOW OFF GOD!! SHOW OFF BIG in this young man's life. Let him feel loved. Let him not feel alone. Let him know that my words are true. Let him know that I love him as a momma loves her boy. I love him more than words and ache for him to be consumed with Jesus.
I beg you to pray with me as this day has left me feeling heavy.
More to come,
Bambi
I was aware of the mission that was planned for today, yet had no idea how difficult it would actually be.
A woman who lives here in Uganda was getting married. She has 16 sons who were once street boys, yes they lived on the streets of Uganda with no momma to love them.
We had been invited to her wedding. If any of you can remember, we were collecting shirts, ties, and other items to fit about 200+ street boys because they too were invited to the wedding.All of the team brought many suitcases filled with donations for these lil kings.
Let me explain how these boys live. The images you have seen on tv that show the filth, the trash, the poverty......this is truly where these children live. This is the real deal, no dress up......no pretend play, oh how I wish!
Our day began by going into the slums of Uganda. Our van pulled up and boys screamed with glee for what seemed like miles away. They knew we were coming. They had been told.
These children have nothing......no I can't stress enough..........they have nothing.
They fight each other to just have an opportunity at a warm meal, which is something that looks like mushy, runny glue. Yet they are thankful, for they have nothing.
I heard many call out to me, Mommy.....Auntie.......they long for someone to just show them affection.
Many children in Uganda huff paint and other things because when they do this, it curbs the hunger pains. I sat across from a 10-12 year old boy that was higher than a kite.
I prayed that Jesus would send in a rescue boat to come whisk him away to a better, safer life.
UNFATHOMABLE!!! There are no adequate words to describe the pain of this momma's heart. My entire body and soul ache for them.
I think of my boys at home and how their biggest stress is which one will play the X-Box next or who drank the last Dr. Pepper.
How I wish this were the case in Uganda.
We fitted boys with shirts, ties, pants, underwear, and shoes. These children were wearing rags. Most did not have underwear, let alone a clean pair.
We then fitted them with corsages and sprayed them with boy's cologne. They were each given a bag with a picture and note from someone in America. We explained that the family was in America praying for them.
One boy, who was about the age of 18 came and found Kim. He had received a picture of her and her family. He said, "I found you! Are you my mother?"
Swallow that in one big gulp! Can you imagine? 18, nearly an adult yet, still longing for a mother to love him.
The smaller children would reach for us and we would hold them. We did not ask what they smelled of, what their story was, or anything else for that matter. We just simply loved. We picked them up. We cuddled them. We told them that Jesus loved them. Time stopped as I imagine what their future would hold.
Will they be here if I come back in 6 months? A year? Will they die of AIDS? Will they get beaten to death while simply trying to get a meal for their empty bellies?
The clothes had been given out, as well as the shoes, yet there were still more children. What now God?? HELP!
We had to tell the children that though they had stood in line and waited so long, in the end they would get nothing. We promised to love on them. Yet, some got nothing.
Some may say, Well, you can't change the world Bambi. Ahhhhhh, but I can change the world of one child, two children......and many more.
In America we worry about our children sharing a room. Families here fit into a room smaller than my bathroom.
Oh how my body and soul aches for these precious forgotten treasures.
Our day went on as we went to the wedding. These beautiful boys, an hour earlier dressed in rags, were now dressed as if they came out of the J.C. Penney's catalog.
Their smiles, from ear to ear. Their bodies danced as the beautiful African music played. For one moment in time, they had no worries. I longed to take their pain........for forever.
One boy stood out to me in a crowd of many. His name is Fred. He is 18 and he is beautiful. He has a smile that would melt any girls heart. His eyes
show pure joy. He is a leader. I could tell this right away. He wood take the younger boys under his wing and guide them.
He danced like I have never seen any boy dance in my life. Yet, he lives on the streets. He is alone.
Tonight I sit at a computer, while I'm sure he is laying in a mud room, possibly laddend with disease.
I begged God to etch his face in my mind. I never want to forget him. How could I? How dare I?
In the middle of the beautiful wedding ceremony, I looked around and many boys were sleeping. I asked why and was told that they are so tired from having no where to sleep. When they feel at peace somewhere, they fall asleep.
Can you imagine being a boy, living on the streets and then someone scoops you up, dresses you in fancy clothing, and invites you over for dinner? Can you imagine?????
This was the case here and excitement consumed us all.
At the reception I watched as boys were served fancy food, and a Fanta Orange soda in a glass bottle. I had to bow my head and thank Jesus as the tears stremed down my face in pure joy.
The singing, the dancing, the food, I cannot put into words how awesome and awful today was all at the same time.
When they children were done, the plates were empty. EMPTY! Nothing that they didnt like was left on the plates. They were so thankful for a simple meal.
Children called out to me....Mommy, Auntie throughout the entire day. It made my heart happy to know for one single moment in time, these princes felt loved.
I wish I could have chartered a 777 plane and brought all of the boys home to America with me. I prayed for Jesus to FIX THIS!!! FIX IT!! MAGIC ERASER BAR KINDA FIX THIS JESUS! Make it all go away! It truly was too much to bear!
I asked about Fred. I wanted to know more about his story. Two beautiful Ugandan mommas inquired for me. I told them I would love to be his American momma. They ran and told him to come here, and so he did.
I explained to him that though we would be 9,000 miles away, I would be loving him. I would be praying for him. I would come back to visit him. He agreed that he would like this.
The tears poured out of my eyes like a faucet as I was consumed by heartache. I begged for heaven and earth to move on his account. SHOW OFF GOD!! SHOW OFF BIG in this young man's life. Let him feel loved. Let him not feel alone. Let him know that my words are true. Let him know that I love him as a momma loves her boy. I love him more than words and ache for him to be consumed with Jesus.
I beg you to pray with me as this day has left me feeling heavy.
More to come,
Bambi
Today is my younghest son's birthday. I long to hold him and make him feel special today, but know that God has asked me to be here. He has a purpose.
Satan is busy at work. You know when you're working for Jesus, that really ticks him off. I will not give details but can promise you that he hates us being the hands and feet of Jesus!
We have worked in 2 orphanages so far this week. The sights are amazing. Children long to be touched, loved, and held.
When you travel to foreign lands, there is no rationalizing the thoughts that go through one's mind.
Special needs, older children, deformed children.......we could handle that!
Really, many people say, but why would you CHOOSE an imperfect or scarred child? My response, no one chooses what child they will adopt. God chooses and leads us down the path that He has planned for us.
Let me tell you about yesterday's visit to an orphanage. One girl caught my attention more than the others. I stroked her almost bald head and asked her what her name was. She replied in English with a sweet Ugandan accent, "I am Annette."
I asked how old she is and she said, "I am six years old." Now, I'm not the best judge of age, but I knew that Annette looked more like my Faith, who is 9 and kinda small for her age. Perhaps Annette is a tall 6 year old I thought, but learned later,perhaps thisis not the case.
I thought, maybe she is just confused. You see, many orphans here do not know when they were born......this was the case for Judith, another girl there.When asked how old she was she replied with "I don't know!" I told her that she looked nine, so now she could tell people she is 9 when they asked. What a small piece of information that we take for granted....our birth date.
So, I went inside and asked the nanny there about Annette. I explained that she had told me she was 6, but I thought she was very tall for being 6.
The nanny told me that Annette, was in deed not 6 years old. She is 14. 14???????????????????? NO WAY! I asked her if she was teasing me. There truly was no way that this child could be 14. She may be tall for 6, but no way was she 14!!
The nanny said that Annette is 14, but she tells people she is 6. You see Annette is an orphan and she is HIV+. Her parents have both died from AIDS.
Her mother died first. After her mother passed, her father sexually molested her repeatedly. This is how Annette contracted HIV. Annette wants desperately to be adopted and have a family to call her own. She tells people she is 6, knowing that they may be more likely to adopt her if she is a younger child.
I stroked Annette's beautiful brown skin as I pictured what her future may hold. WHY GOD??? Why? How, could this happen to such an innocent life??? I do not understand. My heart physically aches. I need to throw up. Again, I ask God why.
Annette spoke to another lady on our team. She asked if she could be her mommy. She said, I would like to go to America, and then listed the names of many children that have left to travel to America with their adoptive families.
She drew a picture with a big heart that says "Jesus gives you hope."
And to think that I worry at times about how will pay the water or cable bill. Really? Wow, I need a true reality check of myself!
I knew God had purpose for us being here, but never knew what exactly we would encounter.
Uganda is poor, sad, destitute, and the most beautiful place that I have ever been to.
The people here are so kind and beautiful.I consider it a blessing that the people here, for the most part, speak both the native launguage of Uganda as well as Englsh.
When I asked God to break my heart for what breaks His, I had no idea to what extent my heart would be broken.
I held a baby boy a few days ago that was found in a latrine, a place where peple poop. Someone had thrown him there to die. Yes, it could have been a terrible, awful deed, but it could also have been that the mother could not feed this baby. Knowing this may have killed her. Maybe she thought this would be an easier and faster death, compared to starvation.
The police found this tiny one in sewage. His eyes, nose mouth, and ears full of human waste. And God asks, "How much do you trust me?"
I pray that I never forget, I never get to busy with "my" life to remember the people here.
I wonder if God will choose to give me more children. My husband and I both know thatw e are not the captains of this ship called life. Only God knows what His plan is.
Please pray as we continue on this journey in Uganda.
I love and miss you all so much, but again know that God has sent me here.
Bambi
Satan is busy at work. You know when you're working for Jesus, that really ticks him off. I will not give details but can promise you that he hates us being the hands and feet of Jesus!
We have worked in 2 orphanages so far this week. The sights are amazing. Children long to be touched, loved, and held.
When you travel to foreign lands, there is no rationalizing the thoughts that go through one's mind.
Special needs, older children, deformed children.......we could handle that!
Really, many people say, but why would you CHOOSE an imperfect or scarred child? My response, no one chooses what child they will adopt. God chooses and leads us down the path that He has planned for us.
Let me tell you about yesterday's visit to an orphanage. One girl caught my attention more than the others. I stroked her almost bald head and asked her what her name was. She replied in English with a sweet Ugandan accent, "I am Annette."
I asked how old she is and she said, "I am six years old." Now, I'm not the best judge of age, but I knew that Annette looked more like my Faith, who is 9 and kinda small for her age. Perhaps Annette is a tall 6 year old I thought, but learned later,perhaps thisis not the case.
I thought, maybe she is just confused. You see, many orphans here do not know when they were born......this was the case for Judith, another girl there.When asked how old she was she replied with "I don't know!" I told her that she looked nine, so now she could tell people she is 9 when they asked. What a small piece of information that we take for granted....our birth date.
So, I went inside and asked the nanny there about Annette. I explained that she had told me she was 6, but I thought she was very tall for being 6.
The nanny told me that Annette, was in deed not 6 years old. She is 14. 14???????????????????? NO WAY! I asked her if she was teasing me. There truly was no way that this child could be 14. She may be tall for 6, but no way was she 14!!
The nanny said that Annette is 14, but she tells people she is 6. You see Annette is an orphan and she is HIV+. Her parents have both died from AIDS.
Her mother died first. After her mother passed, her father sexually molested her repeatedly. This is how Annette contracted HIV. Annette wants desperately to be adopted and have a family to call her own. She tells people she is 6, knowing that they may be more likely to adopt her if she is a younger child.
I stroked Annette's beautiful brown skin as I pictured what her future may hold. WHY GOD??? Why? How, could this happen to such an innocent life??? I do not understand. My heart physically aches. I need to throw up. Again, I ask God why.
Annette spoke to another lady on our team. She asked if she could be her mommy. She said, I would like to go to America, and then listed the names of many children that have left to travel to America with their adoptive families.
She drew a picture with a big heart that says "Jesus gives you hope."
And to think that I worry at times about how will pay the water or cable bill. Really? Wow, I need a true reality check of myself!
I knew God had purpose for us being here, but never knew what exactly we would encounter.
Uganda is poor, sad, destitute, and the most beautiful place that I have ever been to.
The people here are so kind and beautiful.I consider it a blessing that the people here, for the most part, speak both the native launguage of Uganda as well as Englsh.
When I asked God to break my heart for what breaks His, I had no idea to what extent my heart would be broken.
I held a baby boy a few days ago that was found in a latrine, a place where peple poop. Someone had thrown him there to die. Yes, it could have been a terrible, awful deed, but it could also have been that the mother could not feed this baby. Knowing this may have killed her. Maybe she thought this would be an easier and faster death, compared to starvation.
The police found this tiny one in sewage. His eyes, nose mouth, and ears full of human waste. And God asks, "How much do you trust me?"
I pray that I never forget, I never get to busy with "my" life to remember the people here.
I wonder if God will choose to give me more children. My husband and I both know thatw e are not the captains of this ship called life. Only God knows what His plan is.
Please pray as we continue on this journey in Uganda.
I love and miss you all so much, but again know that God has sent me here.
Bambi
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
As some of you may have heard, I am going on a two week mission trip to Uganda from April 4th-16th.
God has laid a burden on my heart for the orphaned, widowed, and those less fortunate in a land over 9,000 miles away.
God has called me, to simply love. He asked that I show love without reservation, without thinking, without hesitation, to a people that I know very little about.
Our group of 20 women from around the globe will be working in 7 different orphanages, feeding the handicapped, loving on the unloved, but most of all telling tiny treasures that Jesus hasn’t forgotten about them.
He knows their names and knows exactly where they’re at, at every moment in time, and we feel honored to be His messengers.
I thank you in advance for your prayers and also the donations that have been given as our team sets out on this amazing adventure in just 4 short days.
There are 2.5 million orphans in Uganda, over a million of whom are a direct result of AIDS. That’s roughly 1 in 6 children under the age of 17 that are orphans..
Can you imagine?
Deep in the heart of Uganda are places where some of these abandoned, unloved, and neglected children are kept. Some are lucky enough to be in an orphanage. Some are left on the streets, as young as babies, to fend for themselves.
Imagine your child in these conditions. Being a mother, my heart aches for those tiny blessings that have never experienced being tucked in a night, 3 meals a day, or the opportunity to learn about the love of Jesus.
Where He leads me, I must follow!
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
I welcome you to follow my journey at http://3trucksand2hairbows.blogspot.com/.
Miss Bambi
God has laid a burden on my heart for the orphaned, widowed, and those less fortunate in a land over 9,000 miles away.
God has called me, to simply love. He asked that I show love without reservation, without thinking, without hesitation, to a people that I know very little about.
Our group of 20 women from around the globe will be working in 7 different orphanages, feeding the handicapped, loving on the unloved, but most of all telling tiny treasures that Jesus hasn’t forgotten about them.
He knows their names and knows exactly where they’re at, at every moment in time, and we feel honored to be His messengers.
I thank you in advance for your prayers and also the donations that have been given as our team sets out on this amazing adventure in just 4 short days.
There are 2.5 million orphans in Uganda, over a million of whom are a direct result of AIDS. That’s roughly 1 in 6 children under the age of 17 that are orphans..
Can you imagine?
Deep in the heart of Uganda are places where some of these abandoned, unloved, and neglected children are kept. Some are lucky enough to be in an orphanage. Some are left on the streets, as young as babies, to fend for themselves.
Imagine your child in these conditions. Being a mother, my heart aches for those tiny blessings that have never experienced being tucked in a night, 3 meals a day, or the opportunity to learn about the love of Jesus.
Where He leads me, I must follow!
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
I welcome you to follow my journey at http://3trucksand2hairbows.blogspot.com/.
Miss Bambi
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Only He can give us the desires of our hearts.
I sit here today, amazed at this long.....yet actually very short journey. Just 6 short weeks ago I was given the opportunity to travel to Uganda this next month.
The plan seemed so far fetched, yet God said, "this is where I want you." So many details......so little time God. I tried hard to REASON with Him! That sounds so funny just typing it!
I remember telling God that I knew nothing about the people of Uganda. He reminded me that He and I had had this discussion a mere 4 years ago when I stumbled upon a child's photo from Vietnam. That's Faith, my daughter. And just as I know nothing about the people, His people, of Uganda, I knew nothing about His people of Vietnam. Yet, he said GO!
It's amazing to me, that without knowing all of God's plans for our families lives, I have always known that "this place" is not my home. America.......it's a wonderful, beautiful, blessed place full of rights and freedoms. But, God has told me to travel to lands out of my comfort zone........step out of my comfy bubble and simply LOVE.
While fund-raising for this amazing trip that we leave in about 10 days for,(OMG that is so sonn!! EEKS!) I stumbled upon a website called Sixty Feet.
This organization helps orphans that live in a place referred to as "M." This place is hidden.......no one speaks of it......some have just happened to stumble upon it, while in Uganda.
Here......is their story:
According to the most recent estimates, there are approximately 2.5 million orphans in Uganda, over a million of whom are a direct result of AIDS. Roughly 1 in 6 children in Uganda under the age of 17 is an orphan. Deep in the bush outside Kampala is a place where some of these abandoned, unloved and neglected children are kept. And this is where our story begins…
Not long ago a woman was on her way out of Kampala and drove past a dilapidated old sign that read “M”: Rehabilitation Center for Children. She was drawn to learn more about the place and so she turned down a long, winding dirt road until she came to the end. To her horror, she found rooms of children locked up, young kids chained to windows, and even a 10 day old, malnourished and living in her own urine. She saw hundreds of children with little food and no supervision.
The power of that moment could not be denied. The statistics and figures that Nathalie knew all too well now had a name and a face. The suffering was real and her first hand experience would change the course of her life and the lives of these children. A glorious story of redemption for these little ones began that day when Nathalie followed her inkling and wandered into “M”.
Eight thousand miles away, the ripple effects of Nathalie’s ministry made their way to the shores of America. When we heard about “M” our hearts were completely broken. Living amidst a sea of abundance and well cared for families, we could not begin to fathom the pain and suffering that these children endure on a daily basis. It was clear that God was calling us on a mission too.
In early 2010, some of the men on our team heard about this place and began to pray that God would send someone to help. They soon realized it was them God was sending. They decided that we should go and see how God was at work in the lives of these children, and how we might participate. And so we did.
What we learned was something we already knew but had not personally experienced so vividly. The heart of God is unquestionably devoted to caring for widows and orphans, for the poor and the marginalized, for the hungry and those who suffer injustice. This we knew. But experiencing God at work in this desperate environment made us realize that He was calling us to live out the Gospel and be devoted to His purposes in a way that was tangible, sacrificial and enduring.
It is an awesome and deeply humbling thing to have an encounter with the living God. Deep in the bush outside Kampala, we encountered Him at work and it changed our lives.
Sixty Feet was born out of a desire to participate in God’s work at “M”, to come along side those already involved in the lives of the children, to share the love of Jesus Christ in a meaningful way, and to care for orphans that are otherwise treated as common prisoners. In short, Sixty Feet is a response to the Gospel.
We are just regular people who responded to a call on our lives. We are submitted to the authority of Christ and to His will for this ministry. We exist for His glory and to serve His purposes as long as He would have us do so.
This is our story, and we pray that soon…. it may be your story too.
________________________________________________________________________________________
I have heard that the children here live in unfathomable conditions. They are strapped to beds, have little food, supervision, or basic needs met that you and I would consider to be "the norm."
This is a place that most, including myself, would never want to go! I'd like to turn my head, pretend this place doesn't exist, and go back to my merry little life in Missouri, AKA The land of the free and the home of the brave.
Yet, I found myself asking, almost pleading with God to take me there. Please let me go there! I MUST go there! Surely if even for only one day God....I could do something.......anything!?!?!?!
Today I have found out that we get to go to "M" while in Uganda. My heart nearly stopped beating as I read the email this morning. I know only He can give us our hearts desires.
I am humbled and blessed to be able to visit the children of "M" who have no mommies, no daddies, no shoes, no Veggie Tales movies, no lollipops.....NO NOTHING! NOTHING!
DO YOU HEAR ME>???????? They have NOTHING!! I could scream it from the roof tops when people say, "Well, I would give, do, adopt, do more.....but I just can't afford it!
Don't you get it?????????? God doesn't call the EQUIPPED!!! He EQUIPS the called!!
He provides! He gives! He does! How can we sit around and do N*O*T*H*I*N*G???????
We must DO......ACT.....GET INVOLVED......and save that one little starfish, because of all of us did something......ANYTHING, there would be no more children dying because of a mosquito bite.....and no more orphans.
My heart aches to do more, love more, see more.
I pray for God's hands to hold us........and guide us while we carry out His plans for His children.
I am so blessed to he chose lil ole me to be His hands and feet.
Wow'ed
Sixty Feet....go check it out! http://sixtyfeet.org/
Bambi
The plan seemed so far fetched, yet God said, "this is where I want you." So many details......so little time God. I tried hard to REASON with Him! That sounds so funny just typing it!
I remember telling God that I knew nothing about the people of Uganda. He reminded me that He and I had had this discussion a mere 4 years ago when I stumbled upon a child's photo from Vietnam. That's Faith, my daughter. And just as I know nothing about the people, His people, of Uganda, I knew nothing about His people of Vietnam. Yet, he said GO!
It's amazing to me, that without knowing all of God's plans for our families lives, I have always known that "this place" is not my home. America.......it's a wonderful, beautiful, blessed place full of rights and freedoms. But, God has told me to travel to lands out of my comfort zone........step out of my comfy bubble and simply LOVE.
While fund-raising for this amazing trip that we leave in about 10 days for,(OMG that is so sonn!! EEKS!) I stumbled upon a website called Sixty Feet.
This organization helps orphans that live in a place referred to as "M." This place is hidden.......no one speaks of it......some have just happened to stumble upon it, while in Uganda.
Here......is their story:
According to the most recent estimates, there are approximately 2.5 million orphans in Uganda, over a million of whom are a direct result of AIDS. Roughly 1 in 6 children in Uganda under the age of 17 is an orphan. Deep in the bush outside Kampala is a place where some of these abandoned, unloved and neglected children are kept. And this is where our story begins…
Not long ago a woman was on her way out of Kampala and drove past a dilapidated old sign that read “M”: Rehabilitation Center for Children. She was drawn to learn more about the place and so she turned down a long, winding dirt road until she came to the end. To her horror, she found rooms of children locked up, young kids chained to windows, and even a 10 day old, malnourished and living in her own urine. She saw hundreds of children with little food and no supervision.
The power of that moment could not be denied. The statistics and figures that Nathalie knew all too well now had a name and a face. The suffering was real and her first hand experience would change the course of her life and the lives of these children. A glorious story of redemption for these little ones began that day when Nathalie followed her inkling and wandered into “M”.
Eight thousand miles away, the ripple effects of Nathalie’s ministry made their way to the shores of America. When we heard about “M” our hearts were completely broken. Living amidst a sea of abundance and well cared for families, we could not begin to fathom the pain and suffering that these children endure on a daily basis. It was clear that God was calling us on a mission too.
In early 2010, some of the men on our team heard about this place and began to pray that God would send someone to help. They soon realized it was them God was sending. They decided that we should go and see how God was at work in the lives of these children, and how we might participate. And so we did.
What we learned was something we already knew but had not personally experienced so vividly. The heart of God is unquestionably devoted to caring for widows and orphans, for the poor and the marginalized, for the hungry and those who suffer injustice. This we knew. But experiencing God at work in this desperate environment made us realize that He was calling us to live out the Gospel and be devoted to His purposes in a way that was tangible, sacrificial and enduring.
It is an awesome and deeply humbling thing to have an encounter with the living God. Deep in the bush outside Kampala, we encountered Him at work and it changed our lives.
Sixty Feet was born out of a desire to participate in God’s work at “M”, to come along side those already involved in the lives of the children, to share the love of Jesus Christ in a meaningful way, and to care for orphans that are otherwise treated as common prisoners. In short, Sixty Feet is a response to the Gospel.
We are just regular people who responded to a call on our lives. We are submitted to the authority of Christ and to His will for this ministry. We exist for His glory and to serve His purposes as long as He would have us do so.
This is our story, and we pray that soon…. it may be your story too.
________________________________________________________________________________________
I have heard that the children here live in unfathomable conditions. They are strapped to beds, have little food, supervision, or basic needs met that you and I would consider to be "the norm."
This is a place that most, including myself, would never want to go! I'd like to turn my head, pretend this place doesn't exist, and go back to my merry little life in Missouri, AKA The land of the free and the home of the brave.
Yet, I found myself asking, almost pleading with God to take me there. Please let me go there! I MUST go there! Surely if even for only one day God....I could do something.......anything!?!?!?!
Today I have found out that we get to go to "M" while in Uganda. My heart nearly stopped beating as I read the email this morning. I know only He can give us our hearts desires.
I am humbled and blessed to be able to visit the children of "M" who have no mommies, no daddies, no shoes, no Veggie Tales movies, no lollipops.....NO NOTHING! NOTHING!
DO YOU HEAR ME>???????? They have NOTHING!! I could scream it from the roof tops when people say, "Well, I would give, do, adopt, do more.....but I just can't afford it!
Don't you get it?????????? God doesn't call the EQUIPPED!!! He EQUIPS the called!!
He provides! He gives! He does! How can we sit around and do N*O*T*H*I*N*G???????
We must DO......ACT.....GET INVOLVED......and save that one little starfish, because of all of us did something......ANYTHING, there would be no more children dying because of a mosquito bite.....and no more orphans.
My heart aches to do more, love more, see more.
I pray for God's hands to hold us........and guide us while we carry out His plans for His children.
I am so blessed to he chose lil ole me to be His hands and feet.
Wow'ed
Sixty Feet....go check it out! http://sixtyfeet.org/
Bambi
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. We started making cheesecakes, cookies, cakes, and other baked goods in an effort to raise the $6,000 Kim and I need to travel to Uganda.
The amount of funds we needed to raise scared me.....ok, let's be honest, it engulfed me.
How could we do it? Where would the money come from? The list went on and on.
We posted on Facebook (yes FB, thanks for the FREE advertising)that we were selling baked goods. My inbox and wall lit up with people wanting to place their treat order.
We have now made over 60 cheesecakes, 12 dozen brownies, and too many cookies to even count.
Then, Nana (We LOVE you Nana!) said that she would make home-made girly dresses and give back all the payments received to our trip. The dress orders too, came flying in.......and in,,,,,,and in.... Oh Nana, what have you gotten yourself into?
Now, we are approximately $1,000 from reaching our $6,000 goal. I cannot even believe it!!!!
We have now made a new goal which is to raise more money than we need so that we can buy food and shoes for orphans while we're there. Many children in Uganda have never even owned a pair of shoes. Can you imagine? Take a look in your closet and count the number of pairs you have. I know I have way more than I need. Can you imagine NEVER having a single, solitary pair of shoes to wear??
Can we imagine sitting on the dirt floor, in a mud hut, eating the little amount of food we have, with our hands? No utensils are given.....no fancy place settings, not even a kitchen table to put those things on if they had them.
I'm sitting at my desk. I have a diet coke, a bag of twizzlers, and a slice of pizza in front of me. A candle is burning, vanilla spiced creme is the scent. It's warm here next to my heater. This is quite cozy.
Yet, half way around the world, the scene is different. In fact, it is the total opposite.
What if the lil guy above was yours??? Would you do everything in your power to save him??
I know I would.....I have been down that road three or four times, yes I counted correctly. So so hard it is to have your child half way across the world and another government, another piece of paper work says....JUST WAIT! Wait they say?? How does one do that??
Waiting is not something I'm good at, nor have I ever claimed to be. Not a good waiter to say the least.
And here I am again......waiting. We have 4 weeks until we leave for Uganda. I never thought I would be going to Africa......never! It's just so funny how we plan our lives and then God sets the stage for what He has planned for our lives.
And people call us crazy, ask why we're going to feed other countries when there are hungry people in America, they sometimes ridicule our crazy antics. I have heard so many times lately, "I could never do that!"
I promise, I am the farthest from what most would consider to be a strong person. Most days I whine just because I must remove the covers and get out of bed.
You could do it....................adopt...........mission work..............pray for God's forgotten treasures......Yep, I know you could.
I learned long ago that God does NOT call the equipped, He equips the called!!
Yep, Remember David and Goliath? As far as I remember, David wasn't a stout, muscley young man......but, God equipped him.
My heart has so many fears about going to Uganda.
I'm terrified of not being able to do enough. Two weeks really isn't that long at all. I often dream lately that I am being dragged onto a plane back to America. I don't want to leave and I keep saying, "But, my job isn't done yet.....I can't leave!"
What if that is truly what happens?
I have already contemplated how I could smuggle a few orphans back into the land of the free and the home of the brave.
No, I'm not kidding....how could I be? I truly have plotted out the whole scene.
Two babies or small children will fit in my large duffel bag. Everything goes off without a hitch until they put my duffel bag (orphans inside) through the x-ray machine. Cuz you know those dang machines would show bones!!!!UGHHHHHH! I haven't figured that part out yet and at this point, I'm even willing to show some cleavage if they let me bypass that machine with just a few of God's forgotten treasures.
Yes, Listen.....IN THE NAME OF JESUS........TO SAVE ORPHANS I would show cleavage!
Please pray for us as we grow closer to leaving on this adventure that God has planned for us.
We are so close to our goal.................and we pray we surpass that goal.
The other day Kim posted on her facebook wall: "God is so good and Merciful. He knows our needs before we need them and to see him fulfill them is such a Blessing. I am humbled." Oh how truthful is that statement!!
So happy you have decided to join us in this crazy thing we call life. Please continue to pray for us as we prepare for the adventure of a lifetime.
Below is a map from Missouri to Kampala, Uganda. Not that far to travel right????
Many Blessings,
Bambi
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Below is a letter that I sent out as an invite to our auction and benefit dinner.
UGANDA MISSION’S TRIP BENEFIT DINNER/AUCTION
Who is Invited: You, your family, and anyone else that has a heart for Jesus,orphans, and the mission work that He asks us to do
What: BBQ dinner (pulled pork and smoked ribs) Silent Auction and Raffle, Family/Child Photography, Adult Game of Basketball (Get your game face on!), Worship Music, and GREAT times with new and old friends
When: Saturday, February 26th, 2011, 6 p.m.-whenever the fun stops
Where: Immanuel Lutheran School Gym
1500 Lipper
Higginsville, MO 64037
Why: My heart aches for a people I have never met, thousands of miles away. I do not understand God’s plans, nor am I meant to. I do know, however, that He told me to trust in Him and go where He leads me.
Myself, my sister, and 20 other women from around the world are traveling to Uganda from April 4th-16th, 2011. We will be working with the African Hearts Ministry that bring children off of the streets to feed and clothe them. Yes, these children are living on the streets, even as young as age 2 or 3. These children have no one to care for them as their parents and loved ones have all died from the AIDS epidemic, starvation, and poverty. If you gave them a bar of soap to shower with, they would sell it to buy food.
Imagine having no shoes, no food, and, no Mom or Dad to tell you everything is going to be all right. This IS their reality.!This IS every day for them! This IS their life!
We will also be working with a feeding program in Ssenge Village in Uganda to feed handicapped people of all ages. These people drag themselves (literally) from miles away just to have the chance to receive a free meal.
This is where our journey begins and I hope you follow where God has lead us. I have a blog that I have and will continue to journal my adventures, including pictures. The web address is http://3trucksand2hairbows.blogspot.com/. OVER for 2nd page -------->
I ask that you please RSVP as soon as possible to Bambi at heart1054@hotmail.com or by calling me at (816) 565-0867. We want to ensure we have plenty of food and that everyone gets a full belly.
Below is a list of SOME of the items that will be in our silent auction and raffle.
We will be having many “themed” baskets in the silent auction. Here are a few samples to give you an idea of what we will be featuring.
Family basket: family themed DVD, popcorn, 2 kinds of candy, 2 Large pizzas from Pizza Hut
Girly Basket: Hairbows, Dress up attire, nail polish, make-up, and silly bands
Boy Basket: boy’s house slippers, bag of army men, kite, sour candy, $10 Sonic Gift Card
Pampered Chef Basket: This one is full of goodies but you have to come to find out what this basket holds! We can’t give all our secrets away!
Movie Night Basket 4 movie passes to the Lexington Cannonball 6 theater, popcorn, Nerds ropes, Twizzlers, and a 6 pack of soda
Date Night Basket: Dinner for two at Las Carrates (Lexington or Higginsville), Bottle of wine (Shipped in from a donator in Italy, NO FOOLIN!), home-made dessert, FREE childcare for the evening (at Bambi’shouse, 12000 Hwy O, Lexington)
Cookies & Milk Party Basket: 6 dozen assorted, home-made cookies and 1 gallon of milk (stored in the frig while you have dinner and shop)
Also, we will be auctioning: Gourmet Cheesecakes, home-made cookies, Dinner for 4 at McDonalds, hand-made frilly tu-tus, 5-6 course meal at the home of Barry Pruitt in Blue Springs, Missouri, OOEY GOOEY Chocolate gift cert.and MUCH, MUCH more!!
We hope to see you there!
Bambi Rockhold and Kim Hughes
(address for donations if you are unable to attend) PO Box 234, Lexington, MO 64067
my cell (816) 565-0867
UGANDA MISSION’S TRIP BENEFIT DINNER/AUCTION
Who is Invited: You, your family, and anyone else that has a heart for Jesus,orphans, and the mission work that He asks us to do
What: BBQ dinner (pulled pork and smoked ribs) Silent Auction and Raffle, Family/Child Photography, Adult Game of Basketball (Get your game face on!), Worship Music, and GREAT times with new and old friends
When: Saturday, February 26th, 2011, 6 p.m.-whenever the fun stops
Where: Immanuel Lutheran School Gym
1500 Lipper
Higginsville, MO 64037
Why: My heart aches for a people I have never met, thousands of miles away. I do not understand God’s plans, nor am I meant to. I do know, however, that He told me to trust in Him and go where He leads me.
Myself, my sister, and 20 other women from around the world are traveling to Uganda from April 4th-16th, 2011. We will be working with the African Hearts Ministry that bring children off of the streets to feed and clothe them. Yes, these children are living on the streets, even as young as age 2 or 3. These children have no one to care for them as their parents and loved ones have all died from the AIDS epidemic, starvation, and poverty. If you gave them a bar of soap to shower with, they would sell it to buy food.
Imagine having no shoes, no food, and, no Mom or Dad to tell you everything is going to be all right. This IS their reality.!This IS every day for them! This IS their life!
We will also be working with a feeding program in Ssenge Village in Uganda to feed handicapped people of all ages. These people drag themselves (literally) from miles away just to have the chance to receive a free meal.
This is where our journey begins and I hope you follow where God has lead us. I have a blog that I have and will continue to journal my adventures, including pictures. The web address is http://3trucksand2hairbows.blogspot.com/. OVER for 2nd page -------->
I ask that you please RSVP as soon as possible to Bambi at heart1054@hotmail.com or by calling me at (816) 565-0867. We want to ensure we have plenty of food and that everyone gets a full belly.
Below is a list of SOME of the items that will be in our silent auction and raffle.
We will be having many “themed” baskets in the silent auction. Here are a few samples to give you an idea of what we will be featuring.
Family basket: family themed DVD, popcorn, 2 kinds of candy, 2 Large pizzas from Pizza Hut
Girly Basket: Hairbows, Dress up attire, nail polish, make-up, and silly bands
Boy Basket: boy’s house slippers, bag of army men, kite, sour candy, $10 Sonic Gift Card
Pampered Chef Basket: This one is full of goodies but you have to come to find out what this basket holds! We can’t give all our secrets away!
Movie Night Basket 4 movie passes to the Lexington Cannonball 6 theater, popcorn, Nerds ropes, Twizzlers, and a 6 pack of soda
Date Night Basket: Dinner for two at Las Carrates (Lexington or Higginsville), Bottle of wine (Shipped in from a donator in Italy, NO FOOLIN!), home-made dessert, FREE childcare for the evening (at Bambi’shouse, 12000 Hwy O, Lexington)
Cookies & Milk Party Basket: 6 dozen assorted, home-made cookies and 1 gallon of milk (stored in the frig while you have dinner and shop)
Also, we will be auctioning: Gourmet Cheesecakes, home-made cookies, Dinner for 4 at McDonalds, hand-made frilly tu-tus, 5-6 course meal at the home of Barry Pruitt in Blue Springs, Missouri, OOEY GOOEY Chocolate gift cert.and MUCH, MUCH more!!
We hope to see you there!
Bambi Rockhold and Kim Hughes
(address for donations if you are unable to attend) PO Box 234, Lexington, MO 64067
my cell (816) 565-0867
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Oodles of sugar
I can even begin to explain what our God has done to help us raise the needed funds to get to Uganda and love on those beautiful orphans.
Recently, many things have changed regarding the Uganda trip including, My sister (who is now going to Uganda too) WOOT WOOT, a change of hearts for the people that we needed to support this mission,(which we needed BIG time) and the Faith that we now have knowing that God IS going to get us to Uganda.
I wholeheartedly believe that if God asks you to do something, He will help you get there. Didn't say it would be an easy task!! OH BABY NO I I didn't! But, He will get us there.
So, we have started making gourmet cheesecakes, cookies, and cakes to help raise the funds needed.
We are also hosting a benefit dinner/auction on February 26th at 6 pm in the Immanuel Lutheran School Gym to raise some funds needed for travel.
ANY...................DONATION...................Will get you a fabulous BBQ meal and a wonderfully fun evening.
WILL YOU BE THERE???? Please email me at heart1054@hotmail.com to RSVP! We want to make sure we have plenty of food to feed everyone!!
So, here we are.....6 weeks to raise a total of $6,000!!
We are praying BIG time for a BIG turnout at our dinner and auction and many many COOKIE ORDERS!!
Let me know if you would like to place your order today!!
Many Blessings,
Bambi
Recently, many things have changed regarding the Uganda trip including, My sister (who is now going to Uganda too) WOOT WOOT, a change of hearts for the people that we needed to support this mission,(which we needed BIG time) and the Faith that we now have knowing that God IS going to get us to Uganda.
I wholeheartedly believe that if God asks you to do something, He will help you get there. Didn't say it would be an easy task!! OH BABY NO I I didn't! But, He will get us there.
So, we have started making gourmet cheesecakes, cookies, and cakes to help raise the funds needed.
We are also hosting a benefit dinner/auction on February 26th at 6 pm in the Immanuel Lutheran School Gym to raise some funds needed for travel.
ANY...................DONATION...................Will get you a fabulous BBQ meal and a wonderfully fun evening.
WILL YOU BE THERE???? Please email me at heart1054@hotmail.com to RSVP! We want to make sure we have plenty of food to feed everyone!!
So, here we are.....6 weeks to raise a total of $6,000!!
We are praying BIG time for a BIG turnout at our dinner and auction and many many COOKIE ORDERS!!
Let me know if you would like to place your order today!!
Many Blessings,
Bambi
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I cannot even begin to tell you the excitement that God has put in my heart to go and serve a people that I know little about.
I would compare this with both of our adoption adventures. People asked, Why China? Why Vietnam?
My reply....because that's where my children are. That's where God told us to go.
God whispered just a few simple word to my heart, Go,Love, Do!
My heart and soul is preparing for my next adventure, in Uganda.
It's so funny because once God showed me His plan for this missions trip, I was asked.....How can you get off of work for 2 weeks? How will your husband care for your children all alone while you are gone? How will you___________?????
God told me to go......I knew the details would work themselves out and they have.
I have known for quite awhile that 'this place" is NOT my home. I live in America but, I do not feel at home.
Where is my home you might ask? Well, I am not sure yet. China? Vietnam? Uganda? Korea? I don't know but, I do know that in God's timing, this will one day be revealed to me.
To say that God has asked me to TRUST Him lately is an understatement.
He has asked, nudged, pushed me to get rid of my "stuff." Not all materialistic "stuff" because some is emotional, mental, physical. This task that I am undertaking is not easy. It's HARD work, but if it was easy...it wouldn't mean as much.
God asked me recently to give up something that is so very dear to my heart. I cannot exactly tell you what this is yet, as God is still whispering to me regarding this treasure.But, I know He asked to me because I plainly said, "Well, I could NEVER do that, Wow, this person did "this" but not me God, Wow, that would take HUGE faith, Glad God didn't ask me to do anything CRAZY like that."
And
then
He
did
ask
ME!
I thought maybe God dialed incorrectly. You know....OOPS, wrong number! Yep, not so much!
God has the digits to our hearts and he speaks words that only we can understand, comprehend, and take in.
For the first time in my life God has asked me to fast. Not an easy fast like, "OK GOD, I will give up LIVER...., but just for YOU"...wink wink!
It something that I like....ALOT, but God said, refrain, and I have, only with His help.
Spiritual fasting is not just about giving up food or other items, but it is about feeding the spirit through our obedience to God.
Joel 2:12 ". . . turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and
with weeping, and with mourning."
More to tell later.
Bambi
Monday, February 7, 2011
ABUNDANTLY BLESSED!
Today, God has said YES, I CHOSE YOU................to Go to Uganda!
I have been blessed abundatly today.
Will give more exact details tomorrow, but for now wanted to thank God for His provisions.
I AM SO EXCITED I WILL NEVER SLEEP!
EEEEEKS!!
Bambi
I have been blessed abundatly today.
Will give more exact details tomorrow, but for now wanted to thank God for His provisions.
I AM SO EXCITED I WILL NEVER SLEEP!
EEEEEKS!!
Bambi
Listen, Follow, GO!
God is calling me.
Uganda is calling me.
The very breath I breathe is truly not my own, I belong to Him!
God has called me to Uganda to love on the poor and the orphaned. I have no idea where the money for this trip, this mission, will come from, but He does!!
Today, I am turning this "mission" over to God. I am headed to Uganda for 2 weeks in April. I have six weeks to raise $3,000. I have $100 that's due today, $1800 that's due on March 1st, and $1200 that's due on March 15th.
If you should choose to make a donation, I know God will truly bless you.
You may send a secure donation through pay pal by clicking the button above or you may mail any donations to The River Church, 860 Plymouth Drive, Durango, CO 81301.
You will need to add a note that says for: "Bambi Rockhold, April, 2011 Uganda trip."
I know God will make a way for me to get to Uganda.
Should you have any questions, you may email me at heart1054@hotmail.com or call me at (816) 565-0867.
Blessed Beyond Measure,
Bambi
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Loooooooooooooooooooong Week!
I swear this week has been one of the longest weeks of my life. My husband has been in Texas all week, leaving me as a single parent of some rambunctious littles.
Just an fyi, KUDDOS TO ALL MILITARY families, for I could never do what you do. I cannot even begin to imagine your hardships, aches, sadness, when your loved one leaves for duty,deployment,war.
I feel SMOOSHED today.....like a bug! Like someone has stepped on me and squeezed the very life out of me. My spirit is sad,I'm tired both mentally and physically, my soul aches to absorb the many joys that God provides to me each day I step out of bed.
I cannot focus, I cannot think, I cannot press on.....or so it seems. I HATE FEELING THIS WAY!
I have fear, regret, exhaustion, sadness written all over my body today. No, these aren't visible to others, just me.....and God. He knows.
I took Faith to YET another doctor again yesterday, a Neuro-otologist who deals with issues of the ears associated with neurological issues. We sat in his office for 2 1/2 hours and saw him for 15 minutes. That alone can make you wanna kick your granny!
We got the pleasure of seeing the doctor's nurse practitioner first. She was a middle aged, attractive woman, gray hair, cute red sweater. And then, she crept over to the dark side.
Faith's medical history is complex. Every time we see a new physician, nurse, whatever, we must start from point A..............................and then go on, through her entire history with someone new. I thought about making a sign that states everything on it, making it easier on both them and myself.
She is adopted from Vietnam. Yep, this picture pretty much sums it up!
She sees lots of doctors.
She takes daily medications....yes, I will list them, AGAIN!
She cannot hear....no really, She is DEEEF!
She needs to eat often due to her hypoglycemia.
Oh, and please NO SUGAR!
She must get frequent blood transfusions.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh and the list goes on, and on, and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
She has a CRAZY Momma, who is her #1 advocate, BIG mouth, Referee, and many other titles!
So, cute sweatered, gray haired, family practitioner lady asked me many questions, and I DID attempt to answer, yet she spoke over me every time I tried to reply. Once is understandable (maybe) twice, I may still forgive you, but 8, 10, 12 times you cut me off!! UGH!
Why ask me questions if you don't want to HEAR the answer?? What's the point? Do you truly care about every single, medical exam, appointment, diagnosis, referral, procedure that my daughter has had?
DO YOU CARE?
So,Dr. "stay in my office forever because your time is not as valuable as mine" comes in.
He suggests that Faith needs ear surgery to see and possibly remove some excess fluid in her eardrums. He is not sure because her ears have significant scarring from past infections that were left untreated in Vietnam, plus from her past ear surgeries. So, he would like to try to remove any fluid (if it's there) and put a T-Tube in both ears.
Now, the last doctor we spoke to in the same office said this, " Your daughter has a middle ear bone deformity and ear tubes will not benefit her. I recommend hearing aids to assist her in hearing."
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok?!?!?!?!
He says he will try this, then see her back in a month to see if her hearing has improved at all.
Not let me remind you that I, we have been battling this whole "CAN'T HEAR" thing for 4 solid years, and she still can't stinkin hear!
He said if so, great we will check her ears every 6 months.
If not, we will then proceed to send you to another doctor, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, who will do an MRI and CT Scan of Faith's head to see if she possibly had a stroke that we are unaware of when she was little, and still in Vietnam, before we had adopted her.
Ok Bob, I'll take door #3, what's door #3 have to offer?
So, today I sit here, again pondering my daughter's future. Her surgery is scheduled for Feb 23rd.
Genetics testing will not be back for 2-6 weeks still.
Auditory Processing Disorder Therapy is on hold until we figure out what to do about Faith's hearing issues.
The hematologist has had to up Faith's medication dosage. Her transfusions have been every other week for awhile now, which has increased the iron levels in her body. If this isn't followed closely, excess iron could cause organ damage/failure.
So, now they would like to occasionally do a 3 week transfusion transfusion to keep some iron away. This will make Faith feel like crap,irritable, sluggish, achy, emotional, but it's what we must do to literally, save her life!
We have an IEP meeting after school tomorrow, the teacher and I. The school that we are working with treats me as if I don't matter. Their time is definitely more important than mine they assume. And I go alone, without my husband because he is in Texas and I'm here....making decisions with doctors and professionals when I can't even think straight enough to remember if I brushed my teeth with my tooth brush or someone else's today.
I do not ask for help, pity, none of that, because I know this is God's plan for us to be the best family possible for our daughter, that He gave to us.
I will never forget the first time I saw her sweet face and was captured by the story her lil brown eyes told.
Yes, it was that moment that "She had me at hello!"
I just need prayer today please for these specific things if you have 2 extra spare moments to go to the throne on my, our behalf.
1. Please pray that I would mentally and emotionally GET IT TOGETHER! I need to be on my toes for the upcoming meetings, appointments, and surgery Faith will be having.
2. Please pray that some doctor or professional would help me, us develop a plan of action for my daughter so that she may thrive in school and have high self-esteem.
3. Please pray that I may get through today and do not collapse until I arrive in the cozy place that I call home.
4. Please pray that I allow God to show me the joys and triumphs that he has already brought us through.
5. Please pray that I realize and know, deep within my heart, that so many people, children have harder, tougher, day to day struggles and that I need to "SUCK IT UP" so to say.
Oh, one last thing, Please pray that when I make and eat an entire batch of double fudge brownies tonight, that I don't throw up. I've never been a pretty "throw-er-uper" and I would like to keep that issue on the down low.
Thanks for lovin me,
Bambi
Just an fyi, KUDDOS TO ALL MILITARY families, for I could never do what you do. I cannot even begin to imagine your hardships, aches, sadness, when your loved one leaves for duty,deployment,war.
I feel SMOOSHED today.....like a bug! Like someone has stepped on me and squeezed the very life out of me. My spirit is sad,I'm tired both mentally and physically, my soul aches to absorb the many joys that God provides to me each day I step out of bed.
I cannot focus, I cannot think, I cannot press on.....or so it seems. I HATE FEELING THIS WAY!
I have fear, regret, exhaustion, sadness written all over my body today. No, these aren't visible to others, just me.....and God. He knows.
I took Faith to YET another doctor again yesterday, a Neuro-otologist who deals with issues of the ears associated with neurological issues. We sat in his office for 2 1/2 hours and saw him for 15 minutes. That alone can make you wanna kick your granny!
We got the pleasure of seeing the doctor's nurse practitioner first. She was a middle aged, attractive woman, gray hair, cute red sweater. And then, she crept over to the dark side.
Faith's medical history is complex. Every time we see a new physician, nurse, whatever, we must start from point A..............................and then go on, through her entire history with someone new. I thought about making a sign that states everything on it, making it easier on both them and myself.
She is adopted from Vietnam. Yep, this picture pretty much sums it up!
She sees lots of doctors.
She takes daily medications....yes, I will list them, AGAIN!
She cannot hear....no really, She is DEEEF!
She needs to eat often due to her hypoglycemia.
She must get frequent blood transfusions.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh and the list goes on, and on, and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
She has a CRAZY Momma, who is her #1 advocate, BIG mouth, Referee, and many other titles!
So, cute sweatered, gray haired, family practitioner lady asked me many questions, and I DID attempt to answer, yet she spoke over me every time I tried to reply. Once is understandable (maybe) twice, I may still forgive you, but 8, 10, 12 times you cut me off!! UGH!
Why ask me questions if you don't want to HEAR the answer?? What's the point? Do you truly care about every single, medical exam, appointment, diagnosis, referral, procedure that my daughter has had?
DO YOU CARE?
So,Dr. "stay in my office forever because your time is not as valuable as mine" comes in.
He suggests that Faith needs ear surgery to see and possibly remove some excess fluid in her eardrums. He is not sure because her ears have significant scarring from past infections that were left untreated in Vietnam, plus from her past ear surgeries. So, he would like to try to remove any fluid (if it's there) and put a T-Tube in both ears.
Now, the last doctor we spoke to in the same office said this, " Your daughter has a middle ear bone deformity and ear tubes will not benefit her. I recommend hearing aids to assist her in hearing."
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok?!?!?!?!
He says he will try this, then see her back in a month to see if her hearing has improved at all.
Not let me remind you that I, we have been battling this whole "CAN'T HEAR" thing for 4 solid years, and she still can't stinkin hear!
He said if so, great we will check her ears every 6 months.
If not, we will then proceed to send you to another doctor, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, who will do an MRI and CT Scan of Faith's head to see if she possibly had a stroke that we are unaware of when she was little, and still in Vietnam, before we had adopted her.
Ok Bob, I'll take door #3, what's door #3 have to offer?
So, today I sit here, again pondering my daughter's future. Her surgery is scheduled for Feb 23rd.
Genetics testing will not be back for 2-6 weeks still.
Auditory Processing Disorder Therapy is on hold until we figure out what to do about Faith's hearing issues.
The hematologist has had to up Faith's medication dosage. Her transfusions have been every other week for awhile now, which has increased the iron levels in her body. If this isn't followed closely, excess iron could cause organ damage/failure.
So, now they would like to occasionally do a 3 week transfusion transfusion to keep some iron away. This will make Faith feel like crap,irritable, sluggish, achy, emotional, but it's what we must do to literally, save her life!
We have an IEP meeting after school tomorrow, the teacher and I. The school that we are working with treats me as if I don't matter. Their time is definitely more important than mine they assume. And I go alone, without my husband because he is in Texas and I'm here....making decisions with doctors and professionals when I can't even think straight enough to remember if I brushed my teeth with my tooth brush or someone else's today.
I do not ask for help, pity, none of that, because I know this is God's plan for us to be the best family possible for our daughter, that He gave to us.
I will never forget the first time I saw her sweet face and was captured by the story her lil brown eyes told.
Yes, it was that moment that "She had me at hello!"
I just need prayer today please for these specific things if you have 2 extra spare moments to go to the throne on my, our behalf.
1. Please pray that I would mentally and emotionally GET IT TOGETHER! I need to be on my toes for the upcoming meetings, appointments, and surgery Faith will be having.
2. Please pray that some doctor or professional would help me, us develop a plan of action for my daughter so that she may thrive in school and have high self-esteem.
3. Please pray that I may get through today and do not collapse until I arrive in the cozy place that I call home.
4. Please pray that I allow God to show me the joys and triumphs that he has already brought us through.
5. Please pray that I realize and know, deep within my heart, that so many people, children have harder, tougher, day to day struggles and that I need to "SUCK IT UP" so to say.
Oh, one last thing, Please pray that when I make and eat an entire batch of double fudge brownies tonight, that I don't throw up. I've never been a pretty "throw-er-uper" and I would like to keep that issue on the down low.
Thanks for lovin me,
Bambi
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Where you lead me, I will follow.
Lately, amongst the stress with my daughter's medical needs, I have a heavy burden on my heart for the orphans. Night and day I think about God's next mission work for our family, for me in particular.
I have read stories of starvation, homelessness, and utter despair amongst a people that I have never met. I cannot make this make sense to anyone, nor would I even attempt to try. I just know, what I know, what I know.
Now, there are many things that lie in my heart that I share with no one, not my husband, not my best friend, no one, but God.He knows all my thoughts, cares, burdens, and quirkinesses, and for some crazy reason, he still chooses to hang out with me on many occasions.
I have felt a tugging towards "this" place for awhile now. I know nothing about "this" place except that I am needed, not because I have o so many gifts, talents, or an abundance of dollars to share. None of that truly matters. I have been notified, let's say, "I got the memo" that I am needed, called, to love on the orphans and the people of Uganda.
Half a world away, I do not know them, they do not know me, yet I am called to stop my hustle and bustle and go love. Not called to speak their language, not called to know the ache they must feel, but simply to love.
While speaking with a girlfriend the other day, she told me that she would love to go to Uganda, but just couldn't. Why, I asked? Why couldn't you?
You see the first response from most people is......well, I just can't go half way across the world. I mean what kind of sense does that make?
Let's just say that I have never been called a woman with "alot of sense."
I have always said that my heart is much bigger than my brain, just how God made me I suppose.
I always tell my husband that I am the heart and he is the brains of this crazy operation we got going.
Ever since God sent us to China, and then Vietnam for our 2 daughters, I have felt that I was a nomad......nothing really ties me here, to America per say. My life's dream is to build an orphanage, half way around the world and be a Mommy to the Mommy-less. Really, even typing this makes my heart jump up and down.
I am a CrAzY girl/friend. I need no plans, no agendas, not time schedules, NO WAY (those of you who know me are saying a BIG AMEN to this one!!)no clean socks, just say let's go......ANYWHERE and I am game. Wanna move to China? Sure! Have you ever thought about Florida? As long as my sista moves with us, I'm good!
So, I figure I will break the news to my husband. Ya, this should be interesting I was thinkin!
So, tonight, like a school bus hitting an old lady in a wheelchair, I oh so delicately explained to my husband where my next venture, mission, trip would be. Here's how it went.
He, watching some crazy show like How I Met Your Mother is laughing hysterically while the both of us are sitting on the bed.
Now, let me just put it out there that I was doing, EXTENSIVE MEDICAL RESEARCH SO THAT I COULD help the doctors out IN DIAGNOSING MY DAUGHTER'S MEDICAL ISSUES,(Yes, of coarse they need my help DUH!!) while he is watching How I Met Your Mother, which is hysterical, yet senseless, dumb comedy.
Not sure how he got to be the BRAINS of this thing, but we will just let him hold that title for a wee bit longer as long as he stays on my good side! :)
So, while he is in mid-laugh, I say, "So, if I go to Uganda for a week or two, you got the kids right?"
What, he says? I repeat the line above. He now pauses (yes this is a glorious feature called DVR) the tv and says, well......................
You see whether it be new shoes, adoption, moving, whatever the case may be, he ALWAYS shoots me down first. So, I knew what I was up against, but I am a fighter....and GOOD AT IT I AM!
He said, "Sure, I mean, I don't see why that would be a problem, we will just need to figure out the details with the kids."
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOODNESS! I swear it was like I had one of those EASY BUTTONS off of those Staples commercial.
He said, Why Uganda? I say, I don't know but I have felt drawn to those people for awhile now. He says, I know nothing about them. I say,, ME EITHER!!!
So, this is where the story begins.
I am not sure what the future holds for me, my sista, (oh yes, you WILL go)my family, but I feel Uganda is on our map, God's map for us.
I have been reading my favorite blog almost daily at www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com
My friend, Linny, over there has a daughter, husband and a whole team in Uganda right now.
I would highly encourage you to read and follow Em's blog at http://emonamission.blogspot.com/
This is the header of her blog:
Em ON A MISSION
The story of a girl who is following God's calling to change the world one life at a time!
Below is an excerpt from Em's blog.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Uganda Uganda you smell so sweet?!
The fan is blowing in my face..
I am laying on my bed exhausted.
But a good exhausted its an awesome feeling.
The kind you get when you have traveled and traveled for 4 days straight.
The kind you get after a long day of hard work of sanding and painting until your hands start to have the forming of blisters.
Yes yes this kind of exhausted is good!
It makes you know your alive.
It makes you know yes yes your here in Uganda.
Where you have longed to be for so long!!
Where you worked hard and saw God provide and provide.
Yes yes this exhausted awesome feeling is the feeling of being here..
In my Uganda.
When I first read her words, "In MY Uganda," my heart skipped a beat. I soooooooooooooooo know what she means, what she is talking about, I know THAT feeling of being on a mission and knowing exactly where God wants you to be.
Another life changing post from Em's blog: Tonight I went down to sanyu babies home
My heart was melted.
You see Josh and I
had noticed that none of the lightbulbs had been working.
They are up really high
and in Uganda there is no such thing as like a ladder
so Josh and I decided to go buy some and replace the broken lightbulbs in the eating room,sleeping room,and changing room.
we counted how many we needed and decided to go buy some
We got there this evening and went right to it putting them in..
Josh had to stand on the changing table, then put a chair on top
and then stand on the chair on his tipi toes
to change the lightbulb.
Then in came Gideon.
He is about 3 years old.
And soo precious.
He knows every baby's name at the baby home.
He is such a good english speaker and talks and talks and talks!!
I picked him up as we watched Josh change the lightbulbs.
He looked up at me and said...
"Mama Emma"
Yes
Yes
"Mama Emma"
It was so darling and makes me realize how much he must long for a Mama.
How much he must long for a family.
How he has watched his friends be taken and still he waits.
and waits.
My heart is breaking
Dear God please bring sweet Gideon a family!
Friends, I cannot remember how old sweet Emma is, but she is young, just a baby in my eyes, yet already follows where God has chosen to lead her, and she has followed. To me, that says alot!
I am unsure of exact details, but know where I am to go. Only God can map out each and every single detail for this trip, and so I wait.....until he sends me.
Next week won't work for me God but the week after that, I'M FREE!!!
SCHEDULE AWAY!!!
I want to love on these people, the deprived, starved, God-less people of Uganda.
Now, who wants to go with me?? YOU, YES YOU.... Will you be going with me??
Bambi
Thursday, January 6, 2011
As Christians we are called to love the poor. The orphans. The widows. Even when it is unconformable. Even when it’s hard. No matter what!
I have been very overwhelmed lately with my daughter's needs. I'm not saying that I want to throw in the towel on her....I mean something totally the opposite.
I am very frustrated because I feel like we are constantly being referred to, yet another doctor, another clinic, another specialist to try and figure out Faith's issues. To me,some days this seems endless.
I want nothing more than my child, to have an easy, happy, healthy life. In my opinion, if you were born with significant medical needs, in a poor country, given love, only to be abandoned, found wandering at the age of 22 months with only the clothes on your back, you should get a "FREE TICKET TO AN EASY LIFE" CARD!
It seems to be the simplest of answers.....right?!
I have spent the day trying to get Faith's appointments scheduled. From her blood transfusions,Neuro-Otologist appointment, Auditory Processing Disorder Therapy, and so on, the list seems quite long.
I counted more than 20 appointments that we have scheduled for Faith between now and May, that's if we don't get REFERRED on to, yet another, doctor!
When it comes to her hearing, learning, and cognitive issues, no one seems to know what to do, which then leaves her school teacher at a loss of what to do......How could she know what to do exactly when we are relying on medical professionals to guide us?
Retaining Faith won't help we were told. We can't give her her own, individual paraprofessional at school they say. Let's see what the next test results tell us, again and again, time after time, and never an AAAHHHHHA moment of clarity for them.
I'm not saying their incompetent, I'm saying as her mother, I am frustrated beyond words!
I had an argument with God today! I talked......he listened! Ha, now that's funny stuff!!!
I'm sure God gets much comic relief outta me most days.....ok, all days! lol
Anyways, when I was talking.....actually yelling at God and he was listening, I was ANGRY......UNEASY.....FRAZZLED!
These are the things that I blurted out in a not-so-nice way to God:
What were YOU thinking?
Are you sure I was supposed to be Faith's Momma?
I am so incapable of doing the best for this child, my child......Why did you choose me?
There are plenty of other Mommies that could do better God!!!!!!!!
God, why did anyone ever take the center out of a doughnut? Who would do something so destructive? Okay, that was my ADHD breaking in. But, why would someone do that?
Anyways,,,,,,I let God have it!! He now knows exactly how I feel, in case I hadn't made it clear beforehand.
I put my girl panties on, put my fist in the air, and let HIM HAVE IT!!
And then.......God turned our conversation around. I didn't want Him too, but He did!! Grrrr, don't ya hate it when He does that??
I found myself with this picture in front of me, Uganda..... a set of twins,one boy, one girl..... born to a mentally challenged mother. All were starving, homeless, and unloved. The mother, had no attachment to the babies and considered them a nuisance when they would cry to eat in the night. She had no mother's intuition, no knowledge or ability to care for the children she carried in her womb.
God sent someone to provide meals, love, nurturing, and a home to the shattered and hopeless......family of three.
A woman was placed in the path of the family to guide the Momma and help save the lives of her children.
Slowly, the Momma's heart grew to love the babies. The babies started to thrive, grow, and and except the love that had been invisible in their tiny lives.
If you saw the actual pictures of when they were destitute and when they started to thrive, your jaw would drop. God sent mercy. God sent Grace. A mentally challenged, love lacking, homeless momma and her two babies......God saved them.
God showed me the picture of what my Faith WAS before he sent us to rescue her and what Faith IS, now that we are a family.
During the talk between God and I, I was guided to this statement: As Christians we are called to love the poor. The orphans. The widows. Even when it is unconformable. Even when it’s hard. No matter what!
Even when it's hard God? Even when its unconformable.....going against all laws of nature???? No matter what?
Yes, no matter what, Bambi!
So, here I am frustrated, tired, feeling defeated,,,,,but knowing, "No matter what" God will get us through this.
I, along with the many doctors, do not have all the answers. But, God does. He knows the plan for Faith's life.
I'm to be her Momma.............. she................ to be my daughter.
NO MATTER WHAT GOD? Yes, Bambi, NO MATTER WHAT!
Please pray for Faith and us as we continue on this great ride we call life. The ride has some bumps, several sharp twists and turns, but in the end, we always return, to our happy place.
Bambi
I have been very overwhelmed lately with my daughter's needs. I'm not saying that I want to throw in the towel on her....I mean something totally the opposite.
I am very frustrated because I feel like we are constantly being referred to, yet another doctor, another clinic, another specialist to try and figure out Faith's issues. To me,some days this seems endless.
I want nothing more than my child, to have an easy, happy, healthy life. In my opinion, if you were born with significant medical needs, in a poor country, given love, only to be abandoned, found wandering at the age of 22 months with only the clothes on your back, you should get a "FREE TICKET TO AN EASY LIFE" CARD!
It seems to be the simplest of answers.....right?!
I have spent the day trying to get Faith's appointments scheduled. From her blood transfusions,Neuro-Otologist appointment, Auditory Processing Disorder Therapy, and so on, the list seems quite long.
I counted more than 20 appointments that we have scheduled for Faith between now and May, that's if we don't get REFERRED on to, yet another, doctor!
When it comes to her hearing, learning, and cognitive issues, no one seems to know what to do, which then leaves her school teacher at a loss of what to do......How could she know what to do exactly when we are relying on medical professionals to guide us?
Retaining Faith won't help we were told. We can't give her her own, individual paraprofessional at school they say. Let's see what the next test results tell us, again and again, time after time, and never an AAAHHHHHA moment of clarity for them.
I'm not saying their incompetent, I'm saying as her mother, I am frustrated beyond words!
I had an argument with God today! I talked......he listened! Ha, now that's funny stuff!!!
I'm sure God gets much comic relief outta me most days.....ok, all days! lol
Anyways, when I was talking.....actually yelling at God and he was listening, I was ANGRY......UNEASY.....FRAZZLED!
These are the things that I blurted out in a not-so-nice way to God:
What were YOU thinking?
Are you sure I was supposed to be Faith's Momma?
I am so incapable of doing the best for this child, my child......Why did you choose me?
There are plenty of other Mommies that could do better God!!!!!!!!
God, why did anyone ever take the center out of a doughnut? Who would do something so destructive? Okay, that was my ADHD breaking in. But, why would someone do that?
Anyways,,,,,,I let God have it!! He now knows exactly how I feel, in case I hadn't made it clear beforehand.
I put my girl panties on, put my fist in the air, and let HIM HAVE IT!!
And then.......God turned our conversation around. I didn't want Him too, but He did!! Grrrr, don't ya hate it when He does that??
I found myself with this picture in front of me, Uganda..... a set of twins,one boy, one girl..... born to a mentally challenged mother. All were starving, homeless, and unloved. The mother, had no attachment to the babies and considered them a nuisance when they would cry to eat in the night. She had no mother's intuition, no knowledge or ability to care for the children she carried in her womb.
God sent someone to provide meals, love, nurturing, and a home to the shattered and hopeless......family of three.
A woman was placed in the path of the family to guide the Momma and help save the lives of her children.
Slowly, the Momma's heart grew to love the babies. The babies started to thrive, grow, and and except the love that had been invisible in their tiny lives.
If you saw the actual pictures of when they were destitute and when they started to thrive, your jaw would drop. God sent mercy. God sent Grace. A mentally challenged, love lacking, homeless momma and her two babies......God saved them.
God showed me the picture of what my Faith WAS before he sent us to rescue her and what Faith IS, now that we are a family.
During the talk between God and I, I was guided to this statement: As Christians we are called to love the poor. The orphans. The widows. Even when it is unconformable. Even when it’s hard. No matter what!
Even when it's hard God? Even when its unconformable.....going against all laws of nature???? No matter what?
Yes, no matter what, Bambi!
So, here I am frustrated, tired, feeling defeated,,,,,but knowing, "No matter what" God will get us through this.
I, along with the many doctors, do not have all the answers. But, God does. He knows the plan for Faith's life.
I'm to be her Momma.............. she................ to be my daughter.
NO MATTER WHAT GOD? Yes, Bambi, NO MATTER WHAT!
Please pray for Faith and us as we continue on this great ride we call life. The ride has some bumps, several sharp twists and turns, but in the end, we always return, to our happy place.
Bambi
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I seem to have never ending questions as from day to day, Faith's situation changes.
Here is the run down of my daughter's issues just to refresh your memory.
Faith was adopted from Vietnam at the age of 5 and is now nine. She has a hereditary blood disease which requires blood transfusions called Beta Thalassemia Major. She received blood transfusions once a month in Vietnam, just enough to basically keep her alive.They did the best they could, which wasn't much.
Faith has gradually had to get more frequent transfusions. We are now up to every other Friday, and we are working hard to keep her pre-transfusion level around 10 or so. Lately, on her dose of 500 mg of Ex-Jade, her ferritin continues to rise again, possibly because of the increased blood transfusions. Her ferritin is now around 900.
Faith does still have her spleen, although many children with Beta Thalassemia Major have had theirs removed and likely, she will have to too.
Faith has a porta cath placed in the left side of her chest and that has been there since 01/2007.
Faith has hearing issues. She has had two sets of tubes and we were then told that Faith has a bone malformation in her inner ears and the only help would be hearing aids and an fm technology system to use at school and while out in noisy places.
Faith also has reactive hypoglycemia, meaning we feed her every 3 hours at least, she has a diet of vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains,,,and NO NO NO SUGAR!
Lately, and for the past 2 years, nothing is working for Faith as she continues to struggle in school and speaks in broken language. This is NOT an ESL issue. She cannot find the words, doesnt understand concepts such as cause and effect and so on.
Faith has been tested and it has been determined that she has a low iq, (69), which classifies her as mildly mentally retarded. We have gone through many cognitive and developmental tests to determine what is best for Faith and still......................here we are with not many more answers than what we began with.
It has been determined that Faith has auditory, visual, and central processing disorders. She may hear something, see something, be involved in an activity, yet her brain doesn't know how to respond or react to the information she is taking in. We were then referred by Dr Hardy in the Behavioral clinic at Children's Mercy to the Speech and language clinic for a complete language evaluation. This appt date is set for January 18th, 2011.
We were also sent to the Midwest Ear Institute to see Dr. Sarah King and beginning APD therapy.
It was also determined by Dr. Hardy that a strict IEP needs to be followed for Faith at school with preferential seating, less work, adaptions on the work given, and so on. Also, retaining her was determined to not be a beneficial. Faith is in a small private school. Her classroom consists of 17 students with 1st and 2nd grade combined.
Faith has started APD therapy and we will continue with this once a week for 14 weeks. Dr. King said she is hopeful that we will see some improvement in Faith, but does not know how much as Faith's case and medical needs are so unique.
When we went the past 2 weeks to APD therapy, Faith had perfect hearing and the dr said that her hearing aids are not beneficial at this time and to discontinue using them.
This week when we went back, Faith had significant hearing loss in both ears, more so in the left ear though.
The doctor stopped the therapy to consult me on her findings. She said that she could not see much in Faith's ear due to scar tissue, but she determined that her eardrum was not moving at all in either ear.
She is insure if Faith now has fluid build up or if she has a bony growth in her ear, causing hearing loss. She told us that Faith now needs to wear her hearing aids again.
She asked, "Have you ever considered tubes?" I almost fell out of the chair because Faith has had 2 sets, and it was determined that they would not work for her, thus the fitting of her hearing aids. I said, What do we do? She had no answers.
She is referring us back to Children's Mercy hospital to consult the ENT team there. I am making that appt today.
She also will be referring us to see a Neuro-Otologist to look into Faith's hearing issues, along with neuro disorders and so forth that may involve the ear.
I have asked Faith's hematologist on more than one occasion to refer us to a genetics doctor, so that we may somehow find out some missing pieces of Faith's puzzle. I was told that we didn't need to see a geneticist.
I am not leaving the life of my child in someone else's hands when I feel in my gut that I should persue this, so that we may find answers as we obviously have NO medical history on her. Due to being adopted internationally, little info is given on the adopted child, because little is known.
I feel that I should do everything in my power to find some..............any.......... answers for Faith so that when she gets to the age of child-bearing years, she will have all the information she needs to determine if having biological children is the right thing for her and her husband.
I think I would be doing her an injustice if I did not seek and find for her. So, I am also making an appointment for her to see a geneticist at Children's Mercy Hospital today.
I have ALWAYS felt like I am on an island by myself when it comes to finding answers for Faith. There has been no book, or guide instructing me what to do next, or when to do this or that.
This is frustrating as I feel we are not much farther in our investigation than we were 2, 3, 4 years ago.
I am looking for resources, answers, suggestions, and prayers that we make the right decisions and choices for my daughter.
Please give me input.....advice, support,,,,,,anything that you feel may be of good use to our family.
Thank you,
Bambi Rockhold
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Where are you Christmas?
My heart has been so heavy for many days now. Today, I awoke feeling like I just may not die. I didn't say that I felt great, inspired, rested, ready to conquer the world.....but, that I just may NOT crumble and die today.
You may think this statement seems exaggerated, dramatized, or a tab bit too much. Not so, my friend, I have wanted to vanish for several days now.
Yesterday, I could not muster the ability to come to work, I just couldn't do it. Usually, I worry about everyone else and how my actions will affect them.....but not yesterday.
I would compare my feeling of emotional desperation to an elephant sitting on me. I physically could not get up.
As you know, Faith has been going through bouts of testing. We have been sent here, there, and yonder to figure out those missing links for her.
If you saw my last post, you know that the test results were not good....low IQ, processing disorders, and referrals to yet, more doctors.
We are already a large, busy family. I take Faith every other Friday to get her blood transfusions. She also sees the hearing and endocrinology clinics at Children's Mercy.
I work full time and also have 5 other children....so yes, this seems like alot some days, but this is our life. It's just what we do, kinda like brushing your teeth. After awhile, you just get used to it.
Faith has been referred to the Speech clinic at CMH for a full language evaluation, whatever that means.
She has also been referred back to The Mid West Ear Institute for 14 week processing disorder therapy. This does not sound fun to me....let me just say that.
However, I will do whatever I can to try and help my daughter learn, in a manner that works for her.
I was told in my meeting with the IQ doctor that Faith will more than likely need to go back to public school. She said that Faith needs many special services and resources that she is not able to get at her small private school. I work at her school now and as a family, we love it! I can't imagine the thought of switching her to another school...in fact, the thought just worries me to death. How will I get her there and back and still make it to work on time?
How will I pay for after school care so that someone at the other school will watch her until I can drive and get her, after I'm done at work?
Will she learn the words....sex......gay..... and other ugly words in the public school setting? I am not trying to put her in a bubble and yes, in life, she will hear these things. But, right now, she is so pure and innocent. I don't want to corrupt that not even for a split second.
So, right now, this is what I have decided to do.
I have to decided to take a break...take a breather. I cannot grasp everything for Faith that I need to at this very moment. Thinking about all the unknows seems to have been consuming me lately.
I need to pull my thoughts together, discuss in depth all options with my husband...and then proceed. I'm not even sure I will accomplish this until after our Christmas break.
Right now, I must get through Christmas for the sake of my children.
Today is December 9th, and I have yet to put up a Christmas tree or buy gifts for my children. Again, I physically can't.
Christmas for me has become harder for me as the years pass by. With the death of my mother, the depression I struggle with and other life happenings, I struggle to be joyous these days.
I do believe that Christmas is SO AWESOME.......I just can't express that right now because I don't feel it.
If I could be a jeanie, I would wish that I would come home one day.....and my house would be decorated for Christmas.
The tree would be up and decorated, cinnamon candle burning, decorations of snowmen and the color red will flow through each room.
I was at my sister's house last night and noticed how beautiful her house looks. If I were Santa, you betcha I'd stop there first.
She has a small tree and a big tree, snowmen, and all kinds of pretties everywhere. She has a beautiful red table cloth on her dining room table. Everything just screams, BE HAPPY, IT'S CHRISTMAS!!
And yet....I have trouble finding my Christmas. Some might say, You must do this for your kids. They need this.
But, what do you do if an elephant is sitting on you and you physically can't decorate, put up the tree, and get the gifts....then what?? THEN WHAT??
How does one go about removing an elephant from their chest? How many people does it take to pull it off? I want to kick it off myself, but, I surely cannot do this alone.
I ask that you please pray for me....I need to find Christmas in my heart. I need to do this.
Bambi
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Please watch this life-changing video.
I find myself asking many questions, to myself, to God, to just a few friends and family that I have shared this diagnosis with.
I know how unsure I feel the future is for my daughter.
No one can reason and tell me she will be fine. Please do not try.....you are wasting your breath.
She IS fine now. She IS nine. She CAN function as a nine year old, but WILL she be able to function as a twenty-nine year old?
If you say YES.....can you promise me that?? RIGHT NOW....PROMISE ME!
How will her lil life unfold before our eyes. I don't ask to see the future......but, I do ask to see....... Faith.
So funny that I knew what her name was to be even before I knew who she was and I never knew how fitting her name would be.
I liked the name Rachael,Madelyn, oh there were many names that went through my mind......but, God said, "Faith"......her name is Faith.
I remember a man from the adoption telling me very sternly...."This child is very sick. Do you hear me? This is not an illness that will go away. This disease is forever and should not be taken lightly. Don't make a fast judgment call because this is something to ponder over. Do not just say that your family will adopt her....consider all the factors of "THIS" child.
And with a pull that I cannot explain, God said "GO!" He said GO.....do not stop.
I said, But God, what if? And my husband God...he isnt on the same page....and God, what if she comes home and just dies..then what?
And then in my bedroom one night, I remember this like it happened yesterday, My husband and I came to the conclusion that we could NOT just leave her in Vietnam. She would surely die....that was her punishment...for being born into this world....the death penalty....at 5 years old.
And God said.....GO......RUN.....DO NOT STOP!
I remember sending pictures of our family to the orphanage where she was so she could see us before we arrived to adopt her.
When we did arrive, those pictures were still in the same ziploc bag that I had sent them in.
We were told that she had taken our picture around to each of her friends. Over and over she said.....Look, this is my family, they are coming for me.
She slept with those pictures, in that ziploc bag, under her pillow each night until we came.
When she saw me she pointed to the picture of our family and back at me, time and time again as if to say...that's YOU...YOU came!
Those pictures were paper thin, and were her most valued treasure.
I know one thing for sure. I did not misunderstand God when he said GO! Many people, many my own family, questioned what we were missing or in search of that we had to go 1/2 way around the world for this diseased child.
We were missing Faith.....and Faith was missing us.
Their comments were so hurtful that I could almost not bear them. It took every once of umph in me not to crumble to the floor and fall apart.
How could they say these things? How could they feel these things? Don't they see what I see?
Standing on this side, I know I was meant to be Faith's Momma. I know that I am her VOICE!! I will be HEARD! She WILL get whatever therapy or extra assistance she needs because I WILL FIGHT FOR HER!
She is beautiful, and perfect, and she had Faith....at 5 years old to believe that we would come to an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam to scoop her up and whisk her to a brighter land, to get the medical treatments she deserves.
No, I am not happy. I am scared to death. I am saddened and my heart is so happy for my perfect girl....and the things they say she has.
I still want to crawl under the covers and cry uncontrollably.
But, I know one thing without a doubt. GOD IS BIGGER THAN ME! I know he has this. I know he said GO!
And bear with me while I muster the Faith to get through today!
Bambi
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